


FREAK [YeonBin]

by disuki



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Asexual Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai - Freeform, Choi Yeonjun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Are Best Friends, Depression, Eventual Smut, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Wong Yukhei | Lucas - Freeform, M/M, OOC, Obsessive Behavior, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Student Council President Choi Soobin, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Witch Choi Yeonjun, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 30,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disuki/pseuds/disuki
Summary: "I thought- 'he's cute and suicidal... I should definitely stalk him'...".Soobin is Yeonjun's nightmare.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 34
Kudos: 144





	1. 𝔢𝔩𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥

"I'm gay"

"ugh!"

Beomgyu hits Huening Kai's chair, making the groaning boy squeak in surprise.

The tall brunette turns to look at the older boy.

"the duck was that for?" he hisses.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, his long bangs poking his dry eyes and he rubs them.

"stop judging" is all the blond says and Kai opens his mouth to start WWIII until he hears,

"I've always known I'm gay ever since I broke up with my ex... I noticed how I found him so unattractive and how he never satisfied me..."

Kai turns back in front, looking at the girl standing proudly in front of the whole class, 'speaking cowcrap'- as Kai would like to put it.

Taehyun-who sat beside Kai just looked at him with wide eyes... or he just looked, Kai couldn't really say since Taehyun wore black sunglasses to morning classes.

"bro, she talking 'bout you" Taehyun says, a hand over his cherry lips, probably to hide the infamous sadistic smile of his.

Kai cringes.

"I know... and I also know she's a liar... she's not fucking gay!" he whisper-shouts, not wanting the English teacher to scold him like every other day for being too loud.

Crazy bitch or crazy Bella (as Kai would call her) talks emotionally of her sudden realization of finding out she's gay and throwing random shade at her ex-boyfriend- Huening Kai- who is boiling with anger and mentally planning her murder.

* * *

"SAVE THE EARTH, SAVE A LIFE! NO EARTH, NO LIFE! NO EARTH, NO BIRTH!" the group of students chant, holding up very badly done yet creative looking posters. They marched in sync as the principal walks out, looking unimpressed.

The principal looks at the students, searching for a certain face.

"SOOBIN!" he calls.

A tall boy stops walking and everyone else does too (they had to since Soobin was basically their leader).

He has a sarcastic smile on his face, the sun shining down on him, making his nose ring gleam attractively.

"hey, Johnny!" Soobin waves and all the principal could do was exhale in frustration.

"just come here" he says as he motions for the nature cult leader/student body president.

Soobin happily jogs towards the principal.

Principal Johnny puts his palm on the student's shoulder.

"look" he begins.

"just because I approved for your club doesn't mean you can do whatever you want, Soobin-ssi... you and your... _friends,_ are disturbing the classes" at that statement, Soobin frowns.

"but if we don't do this then everyone at school won't know how bad things are and how they should start pl-"

Johnny shakes his head.

"I understand but please... listen to me or else I'm going to have to close your club" with that, the principal walks away.

Soobin looks frustrated as he stands there.

"guess I'll be meeting _him"_

* * *

"no running in the hallway!" Soobin shouts but Beomgyu just flips him off as he runs after Huening Kai.

Soobin shakes his head in disappointment until Taehyun passes by him- riding a skateboard with shades covering his eyes and a bottle of grape juice in his grasp.

"and no skateboarding!" Soobin shouts again.

Taehyun just ignores him.

Soobin sighs, fixes his bucket hat and puts back some silver strands. He begins walking but then bumps into someone as he makes a turn.

He had bumped into a... goth?

Soobin recognizes the goth as Yeonjun-the school's very own witch.

"oh, Yeonjun! Great meeting you, I actually need to have a talk with you" Soobin says directly.

Yeonjun clutches his bag, looking unsure.

"um, now's not a good time, President, I've got some reading to do..."

"oh, you're going to the library?" Soobin asks.

Yeonjun's shiny red lips form a deep frown.

"card reading, dumbass, now move!" Yeonjun harshly says as he tries to move past Soobin. But the silver haired wouldn't let him.

"HO, HO, HO! No my dear Yeonjun, you're coming with me!" Soobin opens his arms, creating a barrier in front Yeonjun so that the shorter could not past through.

"bitch-"

Soobin coughs loudly and then smiles wide.

"I need to have a talk with you about Donghyuck"

Yeonjun rolls his eyes.

"look, the powder I gave him IS NOT WEED, ok? It's eggshells to help his flowers grow!"

Soobin doesn't react.

"this is not about the powder, I needed to know if you're dating him"

The witch is taken aback.

"huh? No!"

"ah, perfect! That means you're free to go out with me this evening, right?" the president says.

"what in medusa's name-what makes you think I'm free?... FOR YOU?"

Soobin smiles wickedly.

"well, I am in need for some reading too, or whatever you call it... I want you to predict something for me"

Yeonjun's red nails scratch on a red patch on his sensitive arm.

"what will I get in return?" he asks in a small voice.

The shorter swears that he's never met someone with such an eccentric smile as Soobin (not even Taehyun smiles that evilly!).

The taller was sortof eldritch.

"anything you want, I'll give to you" Soobin says with a classic anime close-eyed smile.

* * *

"bro... he's like, so creepy!" the small male says as he digs a hole and then fills it with sunflower seeds.

"I know Hyuck, but he's offering me anything!" Yeonjun says as he puts some black salt in a small bottle.

Donghyuck looks up from his mini-garden and at his friend.

"you're meeting him when?"

"six" Yeonjun answers as he seals the small glass bottle with candle wax.

Donghyuck just watches in confusion.

"what's that?" he asks while pointing at the bottle.

"a protection spell bottle" Yeonjun simply answers.

There is a silence of Donghyuck dusting off the dirt from his bright yellow jumper and Yeonjun just chanting some unknown language.

"ok, I won't stop you from meeting Soobin... just be careful" Donghyuck says as he walks out of the green-house/Yeonjun's ritual room/Donghyuck's mini-garden.

Yeonjun follows his short friend while wondering,

"how come you're so nice today-what do you want?"

Donghyuck giggles awkwardly and then has a serious expression.

"c-can witches read minds?" he asks, a little scared.

Yeonjun shakes his head.

"not me... I just know you too well... what do you want?" the witch repeats.

"well~ can you like... make a love potion?"

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows.

"well... I can, who is this for?"

Donghyuck blushes.

"you'll know once your potion works!" with that, the shorter runs off into the flower garden.

Yeonjun already knows who the boy is.

 _Sorry for lying about reading minds, Hyuck... I can actually do it,_ Yeonjun thinks guiltily and he proceeds his walk to his home.


	2. 𝔳𝔦𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔦𝔠

The meeting spot was the popular 'Hello Kitty Cafe' of Hongdae. Yeonjun didn't understand why Soobin chose such a place and enters the pink palace.

As Yeonjun walks in all he sees is pink and white everywhere.

He's mildly disturbed.

He looks around and spots Soobin sitting at a couple table, looking ready to walk to the temples of India for a spiritual journey (because Soobin's outfit consisted of a fiery red shirt with Indian patterns, a blue lotus scarf and black harem pants and finally- his trademark bucket hat).

"well, someone got all dressed up" Yeonjun regards as he sits across his companion.

Soobin smiles his usual unholy smile that completely mismatched his ensemble.

"I could say the same for you" the guru says back and Yeonjun looks down consciously at his graphic black crop top and torn-up fishnets on both his thighs and arms.

Yeonjun looks back up, squints his eyes and raises his arms in confusion,

"I literally wore this to school" he says and Soobin just grins at him.

"anyway, shall we order something to eat?" Soobin asks as he looks around for a waiter.

"unless you're gonna pay for me" Yeonjun says and Soobin side-eyes him.

"anything for you, babe"

Yeonjun hated Soobin's nicknames for him. In all the three years they knew each other Soobin had called him things like— 'honey', 'apple', 'Blair Witch' (which is so inaccurate by the way), 'babyboy' (!!!! Like, what for!?).

But for now, Yeonjun was weary of Soobin's evil intent/wish and decided to stay low and silently patted his pocket where the protection vial he had made a few hours ago lay.

A waiter finally approaches their table and he looks nervous. Probably because of Soobin's eerie expression and Yeonjun's vulgar outfit.

 _What the heck are THEY doing in this super innocent café? Dear Jesus please save me,_ the waiter thinks.

"um, what would you... _lovely_ people like?" he asks while holding his tab tightly.

Yeonjun lets Soobin order since the taller was paying.

"let's see~ how about a mousse cake and chocolate chip cookies... with one vanilla shake and a black coffee" Soobin orders and the waiter nods, eyes shaking.

"will that be all?"

Soobin nods and the waiter runs off in sonic speed.

"he looked like he was about to shit his pants" Yeonjun points out and the taller gives him a sarcastic smile.

Yeonjun shifts uneasily.

"ok, so what do you want?" he asks.

"oh... I just had a question about my future" Soobin says in a matter of fact tone and moves forward to look sharply into Yeonjun's catty eyes.

"I _can_ trust your reading... right?" the sentence was said in such a chilling and warning tone that Yeonjun wished he could get up and leave.

"of course!" well, pride let the witch stay. Fuck pride.

"perfect! Shall we begin then? Take out your magic cards or whatever" Soobin demands as he sits back on his seat lazily.

Yeonjun bites his bottom lip hard and gets a slight taste of blood. He _hated_ Soobin. Hated how ignorant he was.

" _tarot_ cards" Yeonjun corrects as he opens his leather fanny pack around his waist and takes out a bundle of cards.

Soobin's eyes twinkle with curiosity.

Yeonjun starts placing the cards down. After a minute he asks Soobin to pick three at random.

"you need to have a specific question in mind. Focus on it as you pick the three cards... each card will provide a unique insight into your future and I will give you a brief on what to expect... alright?" Yeonjun informs and Soobin nods while picking the first one.

The card had a picture of a woman in a green dress. Yeonjun takes it, holding it he explains,

"You got the 'Princess of Discs' which indicates you're being unimaginative, sticking to traditions and conventional styles. You have to be brave and bold to solve your problems... now pick your second card"

Soobin smirks slightly as he picks the second card.

"'The Moon'... this card indicates a period of dormancy, where you do not feel like doing any efforts. You need to analyze your problem in depth... pick your last card"

...

"your last card is the 'Nine of Cups' so basically you will have success on the marital front... but friendship will take time" Yeonjun puts down the card and begins putting them back in a bundle.

Soobin is deep in thought about the results.

"so, are you pining for someone?" Yeonjun asks.

Soobin's eyes widen.

"how'd you know!?"

"your cards make it obvious" Yeonjun points out.

"no worries... you'll probably get married to your crush... since my cards say so" he adds.

Soobin lets out a chuckle.

"well that's perfect because I really wanna get with _you_ "

"WHAT—"

"I'm sorry it took a while! But here are your orders" Yeonjun gets interrupted as the waiter from before puts down a cake-stand holding a Hello Kitty mousse cake.

Yeonjun couldn't help but glare at the poor waiter and the worker freaks out.

"I'm-I'm so sorry! I apologize from the bottom of my heart—" someone pushes the waiter away.

"that's enough, Jeno" another waiter appears, he holds a royal looking plate with cookies and the ordered drinks on a metal tray.

"uh, the goth customer" he addresses Yeonjun.

"I apologize for the incommodity but can you please cover up your shirt? We have kids here" he ends with looking around the café, making Yeonjun look around too. He notices the birthday party going on in a larger table and observes the birthday girl cry as her friends eat her cake.

Yeonjun's black crop top had the words— _'fuck me in the ass'_ written across in bold red with a graphic picture of an erotic anime girl sticking out her tongue and rolling her eyes back.

"I would if I could" Yeonjun says.

"no worries! I have a jacket" Soobin reassures the braver waiter and Yeonjun.

"awesome! Enjoy!" the waiter smiles artificially as he walks off with the timid waiter.

"here" Soobin passes Yeonjun a neon jacket that he pulled out from his hippie bag.

"thanks" Yeonjun says awkwardly. He somehow felt that Soobin knew this was going to happen.

"where'd you get that shirt from anyways?" Soobin asks as he starts cutting Hello Kitty's face.

"Taehyun made it for me" Yeonjun states as he zips up the jacket.

"the trans?"

"he's not... I actually don't know but yes?"

Soobin hums as he passes Yeonjun the small china plate with a large piece of the cake.

"thanks, and WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANNA GET WITH ME!?" Yeonjun addresses, his voice going higher.

"that I wanna get with you! It's not that hard to understand, baby~"

"don't call me that! Did you really want a reading or a DATE? Is this why we're here?" Yeonjun demands.

Soobin has a sardonic tone as he speaks,

"yes, of course... you're too dumb to realize. I've been trying to get with you since we first met but you're too ludicrous and never understood my real intent!" he ends his statement with a laugh and Yeonjun had never felt so mocked. But that was how it always was with Soobin. Every single second Yeonjun had ever spent with the deleterious male had made him feel bad about himself. It didn't help that Yeonjun's first ever attempted suicide was because of Soobin and stopped by Soobin.

"fuck you!" Yeonjun curses loudly.

The two waiters look at him with disappointed looks and the birthday party does too.

"I'm fucking cursing you!" Yeonjun storms off.

Soobin just lets out a sigh as he takes Yeonjun's cake.

"that brainless boy walked off with my jacket" he plainly tells himself before taking a large bite.


	3. 𝔳𝔬𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔬

The sunlight came into the room in various beams and different colors due to the crystals hanging from the hooks fashioned above the windows.

The rainbow beams fell on the velvet bed that had a sundry amount of mystical looking books, flower petals and voodoo dolls.

In the corner of the room, there was a mini bookshelf that held a multitude of demonic literature and comic strips. There were scented candles everywhere— in awkward corners and in hidden spots- like behind the velvet bed.

The door was painted white and looked serene until Yeonjun slammed it open and close with a large force. It rattled angrily, unhappy about its treatment.

"fuck, fuck, fuck you Choi Soobin!" Yeonjun screams, sliding down by the door and holds back his tears. The pain he had once felt a long time ago came rushing back.

Life wasn't easy for him. Especially during the time he turned thirteen. Puberty started and all Yeonjun could think of was his appearance and how he presented himself to the public. This caused him to get into black magic and satanism.

Unfortunately, Soobin made things worse.

Ever since Yeonjun and Soobin crossed paths, the taller of the two would criticize the other unnecessarily whether it had a good reason or not. The mental bullying had gotten so bad for Yeonjun that he finally thought of killing himself.

And the best way to go was by drowning. Painful at first but calming near the end.

The school pool was the desired place for him and he broke into the institution late one night, dressed in a cotton shirt and a long flowy skirt (he left his feet bare). They were the golden clothes to die in since they were soft and forgiving on the skin.

As Yeonjun fell into the water and breathed in the chlorine mixed pool liquid, he regretted his decision. But only for a second since a sudden strange figure came in and swam him out. It was none other than the great Choi Soobin.

"you fucking idiot!" Soobin had cursed as he tried to revive the unconscious Yeonjun.

Soobin had to perform CPR.

No matter how much Yeonjun loved that one K-Drama scene where the heroine drowned herself and got saved and kissed by the hero— he didn't want that to happen to him! And why Soobin of all people!?

Yeonjun choked out water and Soobin watched him with calculative and angry eyes.

"are you alright?" Soobin asked in a seething voice.

Yeonjun didn't reply, he just wondered why he didn't or couldn't die. And at that moment- he really hated Soobin.

Soobin on the other hand was feeling vehement. He looks all over Yeonjun's soaked body. How the cotton shirt clung to his chest and exposed the shivering buds and light abs and how the long skirt stuck to his thighs and accented the curves. Soobin loved it but he crazed more over Yeonjun's distressed expression.

"what were you thinking!?" Soobin had asked in crude force.

"what do you think, genius?" Yeonjun spoke back in the same intensity but to Soobin he just looked like an angry cat who got thrown into water.

"were you... trying to kill yourself?" the tone was mocking and Yeonjun was embarrassed to say 'yes'.

"not... really" Yeonjun had whispered in a meek tone. Soobin didn't buy it.

That moonlit night, Soobin dropped Yeonjun home. The witch never said thanks and he never would.

Yeonjun to this day always wondered why Soobin was there in the pool, and why he saved him when he had always made it a point to insult Yeonjun everyday and turn his average life into a disappointment.

But the witch knew for sure he detested Soobin for discouraging his will to live and then saving his life, creating a complete contrast.

Yeonjun wipes his blurring eyes and then notices the neon jacket he's wearing.

_It belonged to Soobin..._

As if it was drenched in thick blood, Yeonjun removes the jacket in disgust and throws it across the room. But he picks it up hurriedly after a few seconds and folds it neatly. Later placing it next to his mini library.

He then grabs a voodoo doll from his bed and gets to work.

* * *

"does Yeonjun-hyung eat babies?" Huening Kai asks in a terrified voice.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes in irritation while Taehyun removes his sunglasses.

The trio were sitting on the entryway staircase of the school with unhealthy food scattered around them.

"of course!"

"hell no!"

Taehyun and Beomgyu look at each other.

"Yeonjun-hyung is a modern witch... they don't eat babies" Beomgyu elucidates.

Taehyun smirks,

"well I saw him eating 'little baby's ice cream' once... I heard it's made out of REAL BABIES"

Kai shrieks in horror.

Beomgyu is sick of this.

"look, Kai, I heard the president of the student council and nature cult-Mr. Choi Soobin, went out on a date with our school witch. I'm sure he knows if Yeonjun-hyung eats babies or not... go ask him or whatever" he tells his friend off.

"what's with the intro—"

"you're right!" Kai interrupts Taehyun and runs off.

Taehyun and Beomgyu are left alone.

"so where's your skateboard?"

"it got confiscated"

* * *

"does Yeonjun-hyung eat babies?"

Soobin just blinks.

"you gotta answer me, man! This is a life or death situation for me!" Kai pleads and Soobin ignores him while proceeding his walk to the nature cult room.

"president!" Kai cries while dramatically reaching out his hand.

Soobin just walks on monotonously until he gets interrupted again.

"oh, hey prez!" a younger duplicate of the actor Choi Minho stops Soobin.

It was Yukhei, the most wanted boy of the school. He greets Soobin with his charming smile and Axe scent while clad in his sports gear.

"what do you want, jock?" Soobin asks. He looked bored.

Yukhei's smile does not falter.

"oh, nothing! I just saw this doll on the floor and thought it looked like you... since you're the prez, I thought lost stuff should go to you" Yukhei passes Soobin a cotton stuffed doll with button eyes and a bucket hat. Silver threads peeked out of the hat and the doll was dressed in 'spiritual' clothing.

"this is some 'Coraline' shit" Soobin says as he stares at the doll.

"I'll be going then" Yukhei runs off.

Soobin stares a little longer at the doll and notices how it had odd stitches on its legs and arms.

"huh..."

_I hope this has to do something to do with Yeonjun._


	4. 𝔩𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔡𝔬

Soobin couldn't help the cheeky smile that formed on his face when he saw Yeonjun stomping angrily towards him in his heeled boots.

The silver-haired thought Yeonjun looked exceptionally adorable today. He was wearing a longline red shirt with the usual sexual message (today it said— _I like toys_ with an arrow pointing upwards. Soobin notices Yeonjun wearing a leather choker) and white fishnets. Soobin couldn't make out if Yeonjun wore anything pants or not but it didn't really matter.

"first of all- here!" Yeonjun thrusts a neon jacket towards Soobin once he reaches him.

"and second- that's mine" Yeonjun claims and tries to snatch the voodoo doll out of the taller's grip.

"really? Perfect!" Soobin says and moves away, not letting the smaller take his property.

"fucker, give me my doll!" Yeonjun was red now (or maybe it was the makeup?) and he grabs Soobin's arm while pressing himself into the president as a way to reach easier.

"mm~ you smell really nice, what shampoo do you use?" Soobin asks playfully and Yeonjun felt as if someone was touching him all over. He thought he felt this way because he was disgusted or creeped out, but when he tried to remove himself from Soobin's ice-cold body- he realized he couldn't move. Yeonjun looks down and sees Soobin's arms around his waist. His left arm was sneaking upwards and Yeonjun felt goosebumps.

"what the fuck-? What are you-?" Yeonjun looks around and blushes hard when he sees the other students looking at them with perplexed expressions. He tries to pull away again but Soobin was strong.

"let me go—" and all of a sudden, Yeonjun was pushed to the wall, his wrists had larger hands around them, and Soobin's leg was between his netted thighs.

 _Fuck, I blame the fae for this,_ Yeonjun thinks as Soobin chuckles at his misery.

"ah, I love the face you make when you're scared" he mocks.

"I'm not scared" Yeonjun contradicts but he was.

You couldn't blame Yeonjun. Even if it had been a while since he tried to kill himself and Soobin was the whole reason; the witch wasn't over the trauma. He really did regret his decision of ending his life.

And at the moment, Yeonjun was so vulnerable and at the mercy of Soobin's villainous thoughts.

"what are you trying to do?" the smaller asks.

Soobin mildly bites his lower lip. His eyes held something that exposed his libido.

"like I said yesterday... I _like_ you or... possibly more?" Soobin holds back a smirk when Yeonjun makes a horrified expression.

"and I'm going to make you mine... excuse my cringe"

_What have I gotten into?_

* * *

When Donghyuck finally found his best friend after an hour of searching, the first thing he did was push Yeonjun to the floor.

"do you know for how LONG I've been searching for you!?" he scolds vainly, not noticing Yeonjun's grim expression.

"and what about the love spell I've been asking for? Ugh! If you don't hurry up Jungwoo-hyung might end up becoming Yukhei's boyfriend!" Donghyuck continues his rants, once again not noticing how Yeonjun had gotten up and left in a depressed footwork.

The annoyed male only realizes his witch friend had left him after a minute and feels more displeased. He sees Yeonjun walking dejectedly.

"Yeonjun!~" Donghyuck calls and runs after his friend, ready to lecture him.

But of course, Donghyuck doesn't end up lecturing the witch as he clearly sees the troubled expression on him.

"what's wrong?" the shorter asks, forgetting about his petty anger.

"Hyuck... I'm fucked"

* * *

Yeonjun and Donghyuck end up having a sleepover.

"let the meeting- _'get greasy Soobin leave beautiful Yeonjun'_ begin!" Donghyuck announces. He was dressed in his baby pink pajamas and snuggled in Yeonjun's blanket.

Yeonjun clears his throat.

"who the hell is this?" he asks harshly and points at Huening Kai.

Kai laughs. Awkwardly.

He was wearing a pair of blue pajamas that had penguins all over them.

Donghyuck hits Yeonjun's arm.

"be nice!" he orders and then clears his throat,

"he's Huening Kai... I brought him along since I thought we'd need extra help"

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. Even though the sleepover was occurring in his own home, he knew he couldn't go against grudge-holding Donghyuck.

The witch just sits down on his wooden chair and goes through his make-up bag. He takes out a packet of wipes and starts removing his gothic makeover.

"ok!" Donghyuck claps excitedly.

"Yeonjun, would you explain the situation?"

The requested looks uninterested to do the deed but he does anyway,

"so I have someone pining for me and I rejected him. But he's not giving up and now I'm creeped out" Yeonjun explains tastelessly.

Kai nods while stuffing his face with some popcorn.

"and the person who likes you is Soobin-hyung, right? I thought you went on a date with him?" Kai wonders and Yeonjun cringes.

"it wasn't a date! He just requested for a reading—which reminds me! he told me he'd give me anything I wanted- I could ask him to leave me! it's so simple!" Yeonjun reaches a stage of euphoria and looks extremely satisfied while Donghyuck has a disappointed expression on his face.

"what~ that's it? And I got all excited about this" he complains and falls down on Yeonjun's bed, cozying himself while pouting.

"uh... Yeonjun-hyung" Kai calls.

"hm?"

"do you eat babies?"

"what the fuck—!?"

* * *

The next day, Kai woke up snuggled next to Yeonjun's bare face and he almost has a heart attack.

All Kai remembers before he fell asleep was the three of them gossiping about the mean girls at school and gushing over their crushes (except for Yeonjun- he looked disgusted when Donghyuck talked about Yukhei's gorgeous smile and when Kai recited poems of how adorable Beomgyu was).

The Hawaiian wondered if he was drunk last night because he had never exposed who his crush was to anyone (not even his best friend- Taehyun!). His bemusement left him to decide it was the witch who cast some sort of spell on him to _spill._ Kai looks at the innocent looking Yeonjun and scoots away.

 _But he looks so angelic... is he really a witch?,_ Kai wonders and decides that for the rest of the day- he would pester Yeonjun to prove himself.

.

"I AM A WITCH" Yeonjun repeats for the nth time and he felt like he was losing his voice.

Kai squints his eyes at him.

The pair were sitting together in mixed English class. The only class where the first, second and third-year students of the art course would have together.

Soobin was here too. Shamelessly looking Yeonjun from time to time, but thankfully he never approached the witch.

"alright then" Kai pulls out a deck of cards and pulls one out at random.

"which card am I holding?"

Yeonjun wants to rub his palm all over his face in frustration but he remembers how long he had to sit in front of a mirror that morning.

"Kai. I'm not a fucking magician"

Kai sighs.

"ok then... can you make a love potion?"

 _I fucking can but because you're irritating me so much I don't want to,_ Yeonjun thinks.

"yes... yes I can"

* * *

Once class ended, Kai was as happy as he could be. Before parting ways with Yeonjun, he gives him a thankful hug and a warning.

_"don't tell anyone I have a crush on Beomgyu"_

_"I literally don't even have anyone to tell"_

And once Kai had made sure Yeonjun would really make him a 'love potion' and keep his crush a secret, he left.

The witch let out a tired sigh and begins walking to his next class.

Maybe he would've actually made it early to his economics class that day if he wasn't stopped by Soobin.

_I knew this cliché would happen._


	5. 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔰

It was an intimate stare down. There was tension and awkwardness (from Yeonjun's side).

Yeonjun could hear Donghyuck's voice in his head- remarking teasingly,

_'this is like Twilight!'_

But Yeonjun hated the Twilight series, and he hated Soobin even more.

The witch looks away first and begins,

"you said if I did a reading for you- you'd give me anything"

Soobin nods,

"right"

"I would like you to leave me alone"

"no" came the fast response.

"why not!?"

Soobin shakes his head and brings his hand to his face. He touches his nose piercing and it almost seemed as if he were nervous, as if somehow touching the nose ring helped him calm.

But Soobin being nervous? Yeonjun wished that was a thing.

"I've decided to... court you"

Yeonjun wants hit his head on the brick wall and develop selective amnesia. Maybe he should've let Donghyuck come up with pathetic ideas on how to get Soobin off of Yeonjun.

"NO" the witch rejects.

Soobin shrugs his shoulders.

"you don't get to decide for me, Blair" and he runs off before Yeonjun could scold him for calling him that name.

"that piece of—"

* * *

Taehyun looked empty without his skateboard and Yeonjun wouldn't have recognized him from afar if it wasn't for Taehyun's retro sunglasses.

Even though the two went far back- they weren't like the ideal type of childhood friends. They didn't walk to school together or share confidential secrets or held unrequited feelings for each other. They were just... _there_ for one other.

"Taehyun!" the witch calls.

"oh hey, hyung" the called turns around to greet. He was standing plainly under a tree that had heart shaped carvings on it. Yeonjun notices dicks and vaginas as well and doubts that asexual Taehyun drew those.

"uh, where's your skateboard?" he asks first.

"confiscated"

Yeonjun nods.

"I like your shirt" Taehyun compliments with a smirk.

As usual, Yeonjun's shirt had a sexual message on it.

"you literally made it for me" the taller of the two points out.

"I know... I'm amazing" Taehyun laughs. This was the thing about Taehyun- he had the most innocent face with the most melodious laugh, but his heart was anything but.

As Yeonjun and Taehyun sit together under the shade of the unholy maple tree, the shorter pulls out a pack of Pepero and shares it with the taller.

"so you want the voodoo doll back?"

Yeonjun nods.

"can't you just make a new one?" Taehyun asks while munching into the chocolate dipped Pepero.

"I can't!"

"why not?"

Yeonjun facepalms.

"you won't understand"

"right" Taehyun agrees and snickers.

"I'll get it back for you- but what do I get in return?"

They make eye-contact and Yeonjun pouts.

"you get... my unconditional love?"

Taehyun just sighs.

* * *

_"you and Taehyun seem close"_

Yeonjun looks around his room to navigate the muffled voice and shrieks when he looks out his sliding glass door.

Soobin stood on his balcony, his deep dimples visible. He looked ghoulish with his pale skin and desirous eyes.

"what the fuck, Soobin!?" Yeonjun hurriedly slides open the door and Soobin enters his room shamelessly.

He walks around the carpeted floor and admires the rose-gold walls and hanging voodoo dolls. The room smelt just like Yeonjun- grapes and burning candles (of course there were candles everywhere!).

"wasn't that romantic? Like that one scene from _'High School Musical'_ " Soobin jokes and Yeonjun punches his arm.

"how'd you even get on my balcony!? My room is on the 2nd floor! AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE!?"

Soobin playfully pinches the bridge of his nose.

"ah, you have too many questions! I'll answer only one—I'm here because I need an answer to- are you and Taehyun close?"

"bitch-"

 _"Yeonjun! Is someone there with you?"_ a woman's voice calls and light footsteps follow. Yeonjun knows his mother is walking up the stairs to enter his room.

"NO! NO ONE! Just... talking to a _familiar_!" Yeonjun hurriedly shouts back and lets out a sigh of relief when the footsteps fade away.

"look" Yeonjun points at Soobin,

"I want you to leave right now!"

Soobin chuckles. Yeonjun doesn't scare him in his cute duck slippers and pink crop-top.

"I think you look really cute without make-up on" the silver haired suddenly says and the shorter blushes.

"wh-what! St-stop being a creep and leave!" Yeonjun tries to push Soobin out but the taller grabs his wrists.

"if you don't answer my question I will moan loudly"

"the fu-"

And all of a sudden Soobin opens his mouth and lets out a deep whine which makes Yeonjun glow red and he slaps his hands over Soobin's sinful mouth.

The silver-haired smirks but Yeonjun can't see that.

"fine, fine, fine! Me and Taehyun are childhood friends!"

Soobin removes Yeonjun's hand but doesn't let go. He cocks an eyebrow as he asks,

"do you like him?"

Yeonjun squints his eyes.

"huh?"

"do you have romantic feelings for him?" Soobin suspires.

Yeonjun looks disgusted,

"no! not at all! He's not my type at all!"

"but I am?"

"especially not YOU"

Soobin pouts.

Yeonjun simply pushes Soobin out to his balcony. The witch notices a ladder peeking over the balcony's balustrade.

( _Where'd he even get that from?,_ Yeonjun marvels at Soobin's oddness but decides to not ask.)

"now leave... and never do this again. It's creepy and extremely anti-romantic" Soobin just scoffs at Yeonjun's demand.

"I'll leave... but I want you to remember..." he turns to look at his pursued.

"I'm _always_ watching you"

* * *

"if I were you..." Donghyuck takes a large bite of his hamburger, leaving his sentence incomplete and Yeonjun felt like he was left on a cliffhanger.

Huening Kai waits for Donghyuck to continue as well while loudly sipping on his lychee juice.

The trio were sitting on an outside lunch table that was rarely used by anyone. The table was covered with autumn leaves that the sitters decided to not clean because Gen Z's are lazy.

And as Donghyuck chews his bite Yeonjun realizes something.

He looks at Kai.

"why are you sitting with us? Don't you have your own friends?"

Kai nods.

"I... I do but..." he comes forward and Yeonjun backs away, wondering why Kai was suddenly so close.

 _"I think Beomgyu-hyung likes Taehyun..."_ he whispers and Yeonjun just blinks to that.

"and?"

Kai moves away and squeezes his empty juice box.

"and?! It's awkward! Like, I'm just there while Beomgyu compliments Taehyun every five seconds! It also _hurts_ "

"- I would go to the police" Donghyuck ends after his never-ending chewing.

Kai and Yeonjun ignore him.

"hyung... when are you going to make me the spell?"

Yeonjun could see the desperation in Kai's eyes.

_This is not good._

* * *

The class withheld about sixteen students who had chosen English as their international subject. Yeonjun was alone.

Donghyuck had chosen Cantonese (for obvious reasons- his crush was from Hong Kong) and Kai was an underclassman.

But. Yeonjun did have _one_ person... Soobin!

"why the hell are you sitting with me? get away!" Yeonjun scoots away from Soobin.

The silver haired lays his chin on the palm of his hand, a sly smile on his face.

Today was a rarity. Soobin wasn't wearing his bucket hat- Yeonjun wondered why but he's too proud to ask him that.

Actually, Soobin was dressing oddly out of character.

His usual guru look was replaced with a neutral protestor outfit. He wore a white shirt and basketball shorts (Yeonjun notes that Soobin has nice legs) with fake crocs. But his wrists were full of bands that had meaningless messages on them.

"um... what's with the get up?" Yeonjun asks after a minute of monologuing.

"oh... me and my club members are going on a protest"

"for what?"

Soobin just eyes Yeonjun's pretty face.

The witch doesn't like that.

"c-can you stop?"

"what?"

"stop looking at me like that!"

"like what?" why was Soobin suddenly so close? Damn he smelled good! Why does this class have benches instead of separate chairs!? Soobin was too close for comfort!

"st-stop" Yeonjun pushes Soobin's chest.

"you can like me all you want but I'll never get with you... and please stop harassing me"

Soobin previous cocky smile fades away after Yeonjun's statement. He looked crestfallen as he moved away.

"really?"

Yeonjun really hated himself for pitying his enemy.

"really... now please fuck off"


	6. 𝔰𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔰𝔱

Yeonjun pulls the curtains close, hiding away his surreal room with the white silk, but Soobin could still see his silhouette taking off his clothes.

Soobin gulps as he clutches the camera around his neck. He regretted that he couldn't see Yeonjun up close but that was alright, there will be a day when Yeonjun would forget to close his curtains and Soobin could just... watch him.

Soobin could feel himself get excited by the idea of watching Yeonjun without his knowledge. It always gave him cheap thrills.

Beomgyu was sitting on a beanbag in the living room when he hears the front door open. He looks up from his phone as his older cousin enters the house.

They usually ignored each other (even at school they pretended to not be familiars) but at the moment, Beomgyu couldn't help but ask,

"where were you?"

Soobin closes the door and smiles at Beomgyu.

"don't fucking talk to me"

The younger just glares at him. He was used to his older cousin being rude.

"were you stalking Yeonjun-hyung again?"

Soobin takes out his car keys that were in his pocket and throws them into the key bowl, his smile still intact.

"what do you even see in him? Like, I know he's hot and all but... _he took Kai away..._ he's up to no good I'm sure" Beomgyu states in a salty manner.

Soobin approaches Beomgyu and squats next to him,

"Yeonjun... is _everything_ to me... a two-timer like you wouldn't understand" he pats Beomgyu's hair, pulling a strand out before walking away.

The younger cousin brushes his palm through his hair as to soothe the abused spot.

"he's such a freak"

* * *

Soobin stands by the door with his arms crossed. His large body covers the exit and he stares at Taehyun with empty eyes.

"what are you doing?"

Taehyun was unlike other people. He wasn't scared of the angry president.

"taking back what doesn't belong to you, duh~" Taehyun flails around the voodoo doll duplicate of Soobin.

The silver-haired president raises his eyebrows.

"who are you again? The trans?"

"doesn't matter, get out of my way" Taehyun was standing right in front of Soobin now, demanding him with his eyes and statement to move.

"I will if you return me the doll"

Taehyun takes a step back when Soobin tries to grab the object.

"you don't even need it! Are you scared that Yeonjun-hyung might curse it? Didn't know you were such a pussy"

Soobin frowns deeply as if he was disappointed in Taehyun.

"of course not... I _want_ him to curse me" his frown transforms into a sickening smile.

"ah, that would be so good... Yeonjun's curse that would last ALL MY LIFE... that would be so amazing but I don't know what type of curse he'd put" Soobin's stance changes to a curious one.

"will he curse me to die early? Or maybe to never find love? Or that I would have to be his slave?... I would really prefer the last one" Soobin giggles.

Taehyun looks disturbed.

"dude..."

"anything! I'd do anything Yeonjun wants! He wants the doll back? Sure I'll return it... but he has to do it himself... tell your hyung to meet me in the council room after school" Soobin instructs with a crazy glint in his eyes.

Taehyun was no fool. He knew he couldn't leave with the doll so he places it on the messy table. Not once did he break eye contact with Soobin.

 _I'll try to get it back next time,_ he thinks as he walks past Soobin to the hallway.

The president closes the door and takes off his bucket hat, ruffling his hair for a bit before putting it back on.

He _hates_ Taehyun.

* * *

"here" Yeonjun gives Donghyuck and Huening Kai one pink paper each.

"is this the love potion-spell thingy!?" Kai asks excitedly.

Donghyuck's eyes widen as he looks at Yeonjun expectantly.

"no assholes, those are ways to get yo' man with no otherworldly ways"

Donghyuck's and Kai's enthusiasm visibly leave their body like an airless balloon. It was honestly disappointing to view.

"look guys-" Yeonjun puts his palms on both of his friends' shoulder and looks at them in the eye.

"you both are freaking _handsome_ and you could get ANYONE you want! Even your crushes! But you are too insecure... both of you don't need spells or potions, you need help and that help comes in the form of me! Choi Yeonjun!"

Kai gasps.

"hyung! you're an angel!" and he hugs Yeonjun while making weird noises.

Donghyuck just skims through Yeonjun's handwritten advices.

_'I don't know what you're worried about, Yukhei already likes you, dipshit'_

Donghyuck doesn't believe that.

Yeonjun pulls away Kai.

"I've got somewhere to go... I'll meet you guys tomorrow!" the witch states and waves his friends goodbye.

Yeonjun runs up the stairs, Taehyun's voice ringing in his ears.

_"hyung, Soobin wants to meet you after school"_

Taehyun was a nice friend even though he was a vulgar person. He had forbade the witch from meeting Soobin, promising he'd try to get the voodoo doll back again but Yeonjun had rejected his help because he knew Soobin wasn't the type to make the same mistake. And thus, he volunteered himself as sacrifice.

Yeonjun really wondered why he was doing this. He could've left the matter into Taehyun's hands or forget about the doll, but he couldn't.

As he barges into the council room, his heart beats rapidly. He felt embarrassed to meet Soobin after rejecting him a week before. It wasn't the first time he rejected Soobin but it was the first time the president looked genuinely upset- and that caused Yeonjun to sympathize.

Fuck Yeonjun and his weak heart.

Soobin looked normal-his type of normal- in his yellow bucket hat and a white shirt that had a tree painted on the back. Yeonjun really hated Soobin's choice and number of wrist bands that always had something odd on them like- _'whales, whales, whales'_ or _'lightsabers'._

Soobin beams spectrally at Yeonjun and gets up from his chair, his left hand holding the mockery version of himself.

Yeonjun looks around the room. It was only them.

"where's everyone? I thought vice president Yongbok is always here?" Yeonjun says uneasily, he didn't want to be with Soobin alone.

"close the door behind you" Soobin orders and Yeonjun does it (for some reason).

"I sent them home early" the president says as he walks closer to Yeonjun who snarls,

"don't come close!"

Soobin doesn't look offended or afraid.

"you don't scare me, babe"

"just give me my doll! You said you would if I was the one who came for it"

Soobin grins and passes Yeonjun the doll.

"there you go, sweetheart"

Yeonjun looks slightly relieved and he turns to leave but Soobin stops him by pressing him to the wall harshly, stopping him from opening the door.

"Soobin, you son of a bitch—"

"shhh" Soobin hushes right next to Yeonjun's ear.

"this is basically sexual assault" the witch points out in a soft angry voice as he feels Soobin's hand sliding down his waist.

"really?" the silver haired smirks unapologetically.

"the last time we talked was last week and I'm sad... I miss you" Soobin says in faux sadness.

"bullshit, what do you want?"

"I want you to date me"

"hell no! Soobin how many times do I have to tell you I don't want to date a sadistic stalker like you!" Yeonjun feels his wrist get gripped tightly and he yelps.

"S-Soobin- that hurts"

Soobin lets go and moves away.

"are you going to curse me? punish me for being a pain in the ass?"

Yeonjun grabs the door handle but doesn't leave. He looks at Soobin.

"you're more than a pain in the ass for me... you're the fucking devil to me"

Soobin laughs happily and in any other context Yeonjun would've appreciated it.

"Yeonjun~ please punish me"

"what?"

"I've always wondered how it feels to be tortured by the person you _love_ " Soobin grabs Yeonjun's hand- that was on the door knob- with both palms and brings it close to his face. Yeonjun panics slightly.

"Yeonjun please love me"


	7. 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰

Warm feet press against Yeonjun’s cold thighs and he wakes up, eyes still heavy while his heart felt sick.

“Junnie, you need to go to school” Donghyuck whispers.

Both were cuddled together in Yeonjun’s silk covered bed, they were sharing the furry satin blanket that was nonexistent on Yeonjun’s side.

The witch closes his eyes and pulls the blanket, wanting some warmth. He supposes it had been three days since he stopped going to school, his mom didn’t know about this because she was busy with her own messed up life.

Soobin was the reason (obviously). It was hard for Yeonjun to pretend like everything was fine and ok. He believed himself to be strong, and he was proud about how he could talk to Soobin casually and not recall the ‘past’, but with how the silver haired cult leader had been starting to act like before— he was getting worried.

They had first met in middle school, and that was when the mental and sometimes physical bullying started. Soobin would call him pathetic and weak at first, but later he would say things like,

_‘can you hurt me? can you carve your name on me with a knife?... you can’t? ok… then do it to yourself’_

Soobin was the one who introduced him to self-harm. He’d have a small pocket knife and forecefully grab Yeonjun’s arm, cutting into his wrist slowly and asking if it felt good.

Traumatized. Yeonjun was traumatized.

He opens his eyes and sees Donghyuck staring at him with his galaxy eyes.

“you're creepy” he whispers in a monotonous voice which makes Donghyuck laugh like a windshield wiper. This also makes Yeonjun join him in the teenage giggle.

Donghyuck doesn’t know anything about Yeonjun’s and Soobin’s past. And Yeonjun wanted to keep it that way, all he told his best friend about Soobin was that he was a creepy suitor and chose to leave out the information of him being an ex-bully. Donghyuck was precious and innocent… Yeonjun wanted to keep it that way.

* * *

“I think Yeonjun-hyung is sick… I should go visit him, what do you think?” Huening Kai says as he tries to balance himself on the skating board (and fails by falling on his hipbone). Taehyun laughs from afar, with one foot on the board and the other on the ground— he looked suave in his 90s style clothing with chains and his skinny glasses. The only thing weird about Taehyun was his mismatched crocs. But the blond boy always had something odd in his outfit.

Huening Kai dusts off the gravel on his magenta hoodie and sobs at the pain.

Beomgyu just stares off into the distance, ignoring Kai’s statement.

“Beomgyu-hyung, did you hear me?”

The brunette ignores him once again and rides away on his own skateboard. Jealousy would be an innocent word to describe Beomgyu’s emotion— he was bloodthirsty.

“hyung” Beomgyu corners Soobin in the kitchen. The older was quietly making his sandwich prior, but stops.

“I'm not making a sandwich for you” he scowls.

Beomgyu does what he does best— ignore the unimportant statement.

“you like Yeonjun-hyung, right? well, _like_ is a soft term- you're obsessed with him… right?”

Soobin is glad his sandwich is safe. He nods.

“you are correct” he says and completes his healthy-looking bread and bites into it, the ketchup spilling and sliding down his chin.

Beomgyu hands him a tissue paper.

“and you're going to date him, right?”

Soobin nods.

“so why aren’t you?”

The older looks at Beomgyu with raised eyebrows. Does he really think it’s easy to ask someone out? And it wasn’t as if Soobin hadn't tried. But bullying him in the past really caused a turmoil.

“he doesn’t like me that way” Soobin says, his voice as lifeless as his eyes.

Beomgyu clicks his tongue.

“pathetic… everyone is so pathetic… why do… why do _you_ like _him_?” he says in an almost whispered voice. The question was meant for Huening Kai—who was not there at the moment—but Soobin took the liberty to answer.

“hm? Well, he’s cute and suicidal… I like that”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen.

“he’s suicidal?”

Soobin furrows his eyebrows.

“Beomgyu, don’t try to kill him… you’ve already killed enough people”

* * *

Soobin was loved at school. His charming smile, attractive height and kind words always tricked people into believing he was a soft boy. The only person who knew about his oddness was Yeonjun—who was also his victim and muse.

“we’re going to have a partner project” the teacher says while she claps her wrinkled hands to gain the attention of the class.

It was English class and Yeonjun was sitting next to Huening Kai.

(The first year had asked if Yeonjun was okay and the older was almost touched.)

“ok! I will read out the names” the teacher says, pulling out a list. Yeonjun found that weird since she never gave projects and moreover never made a list about anything.

“Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin-”

_What… the fuck?_

Huening Kai gasps next to him but Yeonjun is frozen in place, he can feel Soobin’s eyes on him along with his evil grin.

After class, Kai stays with Yeonjun—feeling a need to protect the witch from the devil Soobin, but a certain possessive brunette drags him away.

“hi, hyung” Beomgyu greets in a venomous tone and pulls away Kai. Yeonjun can tell if someone hates him and Beomgyu definitely did.

“so” an arm wraps itself around Yeonjun’s bare shoulders. The witch was wearing a spaghetti crop-top and he regretted that now. Feeling Soobin’s own exposed arm on him made him remember how warm and safe they felt when he was saved from drowning to death. It made him sick.

Soobin brings his fingers close to Yeonjun’s neck, pulling the neon choker as if he was playing fondly with it. Maybe he was.

“I'm coming over after school… no need to give me your address… I already know where you live” he ruffles Yeonjun’s dark hair before leaving.

Yeonjun wished he didn’t come to school.

* * *

Walking home with your ex-bully was a weird feeling which made Yeonjun feel cold even when the weather was hot.

“oh, careful!” Soobin suddenly pulls him closer by his waist. A car whizzes past them.

“that was close” Soobin says, letting go. Yeonjun felt goosebumps form on his waist. What was with Soobin’s touch?

“you… you did something didn’t you? Something that made us partners” Yeonjun states.

Soobin chuckles.

“was it that obvious?... I _did_ pull some strings. I'm lucky people like me… minus you… you _hate_ me, right?”

“of course I do, you fucker” Yeonjun curses, hands digging deep into the pockets of his loose ripped jeans.

Soobin laughs again, he found it entertaining that Yeonjun hated him with a burning passion. He loved it.

“do you want to choke me to death?... or maybe _drown_ me to death?” he says, subtly making fun of Yeonjun’s suicide attempt.

“maybe” Yeonjun bites back.

“do you know how they killed witches back then? Of course you do… They burned them to death… maybe you can use arson in your next attempt? I’ll watch so that there would be no mistake” Soobin suggests.

Yeonjun stops walking.

“Soobin, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know” the taller pulls his earrings as if he was nervous.

“you make me want to watch you die, and then kill myself”


	8. 𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔤𝔢

“here we are, again” Soobin twirls around, taking in the surrounding of Yeonjun’s room. He took in a breath and relaxed. The smell of burned candles and fresh grapes was so familiar that he wanted to bury himself in the scent.

“please don’t be weird for a while… you can sit on my bed” Yeonjun says, sitting himself on his wooden chair and taking out his old laptop, preparing for the project.

“so we need to do some research on Leo Tolstoy’s background and one of his books… which book do you think we should pick?”

Soobin doesn’t respond.

Yeonjun sighs and stops typing. There was a high chance Soobin was being his odd self and Yeonjun didn’t have time for that. He looks away from his dim laptop screen and fixes his sight on his companion. He’s startled by the taller’s shy look.

“um… Soobin?”

This was uncanny. Yeonjun was so used to Soobin’s playful and deadly demeanor that he forgot that the silver haired is human.

The said male was sliding his fingers against the satin cover, blushing slightly as he avoided Yeonjun’s curious gaze.

The witch felt uneasy with this situation.

“Yeonjun, I'm really happy right now… you wanna know why?” no, Yeonjun doesn’t want to know why, but Soobin would tell him anyway,

“because you brought me to your house. I've been wishing for this for so long and it finally came true” Soobin clasps his hands together on his lap.

“and because of that… I'm feeling shy”

Yeonjun swallows his disgust. How could Soobin pretend to be normal and timid? How dare he fantasize and play out to be a lovestruck teenager standing around their crush?

He brushes back his hair and sighs deeply. Yeonjun could never understand Soobin. He knew the silver haired had a ‘problem’, but he didn’t really care what it was. He just wanted to be left alone or at least not have Soobin tease him in the most painful way.

“okay… whatever. Let’s do our project”

Soobin agrees and they finally begin their project. They choose the book— _Anna Karenina._

Soobin picked it out, saying the romance and shameful scandal in the book was glorious and Yeonjun just went with it, knowing his opinions most definitely didn’t or wouldn’t matter.

Yeonjun distributes their work, making Soobin research and write out the childhood of the writer, and himself searching and typing out the synopsis of the book.

The witch demanded an hour of silence and focus. Soobin complied.

During the minutes that passed, Soobin glanced at Yeonjun multiple times, admiring the beauty of his pursued. He could do anything to make Yeonjun his but he knew it wouldn’t work simply. He clutches his bag, an unwanted smile forming on his face. He stops it.

 _I want to watch him endlessly,_ Soobin thinks a last time before he sees the clock finish a round. An hour has passed.

“hey, am I not a guest? Shouldn’t you have something for me to eat or drink? Huh? Yeonjunnie~” Soobin starts. The clock continues ticking and completes a minute.

The dark-haired male slams his laptop close.

“fine! I’ll go get something… you stay here and don’t do anything weird” Soobin nods- a simple action to show he’s harmless. Yeonjun then gets up and leaves the room.

Soobin is a liar (obviously). He’s definitely going to do something. He gets up from the bed and makes his way to the door Yeonjun just left from. He touches the door handle, noticing the three screws around it. He grins like a Cheshire cat. Soobin walks away slightly, wondering if his plan would work. Then he goes back to his bag and grabs out a screwdriver and a normal looking screw piece. Well actually, in hindsight it wasn’t normal—it was a screw spy camera.

Soobin had bought the spy camera a few days ago, waiting for the right opportunity to plant it. And now was the perfect time.

In a speed he didn’t use often, he unhinges one of the screws, replacing it with his espionage. He suddenly hears the light footsteps of Yeonjun walking up the stairs and he walks back in a panic, tripping and falling on the bed.

Yeonjun enters, holding a tray of sweet buns and orange juice. His eyes squint as he observes the room.

“what were you doing?” he asks Soobin who lay in an awkward position on the bed.

He chuckles nervously but it sounded sinister in Yeonjun’s ears.

“nothing”

* * *

Beomgyu rotates the mango lollipop in his mouth. The yellow candy stains his tongue as he stares at Huening Kai.

“Kai, I have a simple question for you”

The youngest stops slurping his noodles and looks at Beomgyu.

Taehyun sat next to Kai, busy with his phone.

“do you… do you like Yeonjun-hyung?”

Kai shakes his head immediately but says,

“what do you mean exactly? I like hyung as a ‘friend’, he’s cool”

Beomgyu bites the candy hard, making it crack under the strong force.

“oh… but you’ve been hanging out a lot with him and avoiding me… and Taehyun.” He adds, almost forgetting about their blond friend.

Taehyun sighs. He knows Beomgyu was jealous, and that him being here was a waste of time. He would've left immediately when Beomgyu began talking about his childhood ‘acquaintance’. But he didn’t want Kai to be alone with an unstable Beomgyu.

He looks around the restaurant. There were less customers and he didn’t know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Beomgyu slams down the plastic stick of the lollipop on the glass table.

Kai is terrified of what is to come.

“I'm… not avoiding you guys” he says impotently. Beomgyu is even more upset at Kai’s weak fight.

“I…”

Both Kai and Taehyun look at Beomgyu. The brunette is shivering? Or maybe he’s laughing. Yes. He’s laughing.

Beomgyu guffaws loudly but Taehyun can detect the fakeness in it.

“Kai… let me tell you something interesting”

Kai has a bad feeling about the statement.

“I really, really, really.... hate Choi Yeonjun”

* * *

Kai was now walking home. His heart somewhat heavy with demented despair.

_“go home” Taehyun says in a monotone. Kai looks at him, worried._

_“just go home, Kai… I’ll take care of Beomgyu”_

Was is it his fault? Did Beomgyu act all ‘weird’ because of him?

He scratches his neck in guilt. Whenever he felt this way, he’d usually go to Beomgyu or Taehyun. But they were the reason for his messed-up emotions, so his only other choice was Donghyuck and Yeonjun. Donghyuck was a bit too self-centered and might end up talking about himself and not Kai’s situation.

So Yeonjun it was.

In hopes of a solution and a friend, he skips to Yeonjun’s house. He had almost touched the gate but someone pulls him back.

“you must be Huening Kai… am I right?”

Kai looks back. Soobin is not looking at him, but he is smiling warmly.

“oh, hi president! Yes, I'm Kai.”

Soobin lets go of Kai’s shirt and then grabs his arm, pulling him away.

“I have a few questions for you relating to Choi Yeonjun”

As Kai lets himself get towed away, he looks back at Yeonjun’s lit room—desiring to see the witch. But all he identifies is the silhouette of Yeonjun from the cream silk curtains. He realizes he has no hope.


	9. 𝔧𝔬𝔦𝔢 𝔡𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔳𝔯𝔢

Yeonjun peeks into the white-walled room.

"yes, Jun?"

He hiccups, slightly surprised his mother could tell he was there.

Yeonjun's mother was a pretty woman. Just pretty. She didn't have any special feature that made her look anything more. She was also average in every corner of life, lacking in a unique talent that could change her tedious routine. But she loved painting—which she was- again, quite average at. She spent her days panting on canvases that she discarded when nighttime came.

She was basically living with no real purpose.

"I have a question, mom"

His mother—she preferred going by Miss Choi, instead of her real name. She hated her real name as it was given to her by her own mother. She loathed the dying woman—puts away her paintbrush and wipes her hands on an already dirty cloth.

"what is it, Yeonjun?" she turns on her stool, smiling sweetly at her son. Her hands rest on her lap but Yeonjun could see the tremor in them that she was trying to suppress.

"do you... no... _why_ do you still love dad?"

Her eyes widen and she giggles nervously, hiding her mouth with the assistance of her trembling hand.

"that's... that's quite a claim" she continues smiling at her son.

"now, what do you want for dinner?... or do you prefer not eating?"

* * *

It had been a while since Soobin had warned Kai from even breathing in Yeonjun's direction.

_"If I see you even looking at him... I will break another finger"_

Kai winces at the pain as the doctor patches his broken ring finger.

"how did this happen?" the doctor asks.

"I... I fell?"

The doctor takes off her glasses, clearly astonished by Kai's gullibility.

"of course you fell" she says sarcastically, finishing her task and writing down something on a thick white paper.

"doctor, you have another patient" an elderly woman walks in with a beat up Taehyun.

"Taehyun!"

The blond seems startled to meet Kai in a hospital room and vice versa.

"what happened to you!?" Kai gets up and rushes towards his friend.

Taehyun shrugs.

"I got a little impatient with Beomgyu"

Kai gasps, very much blaming himself for something he doesn't exactly understand.

Beomgyu staggers home with a busted lip and bruises on his cheek and stomach. Even though he's in extreme pain, he is still smiling because of the surprising strength that Taehyun displayed when he fought back.

Taehyun had told him to stop being envious of someone who wasn't interested in Kai. Of course, Beomgyu being an overproud human being, landed the first punch. He didn't like being belittled. Especially by someone like Taehyun.

Soobin was on his phone when Beomgyu entered the house. He was staring intently at the screen, completely ignoring his bruised cousin's existence.

"hyung~ I'm injured"

"go to the hospital then"

Beomgyu sighs. He was still standing in the entryway of the house, wondering if it was a bad idea not walking to the hospital.

"please drive me then!"

Soobin groans.

"drive yourself, the keys are there"

Beomgyu almost misses their third cousin—Choi Jisu. But he retracts his thoughts as soon as they appear. Grabbing the keys from the key bowl, he marches out.

Soobin finally looks up to a closed door.

"what a fool"

* * *

Torture.

When a person hears or reads that word, the first thing that comes to the head is an act of afflicting physical or mental suffering on a living being.

Most people hate the idea of being the one on the receiving end of the abuse. Most probably because they want to be on the giving end.

Yeonjun could never fathom being on either side. But he seems to have found himself on them both.

As he stares at the fresh cuts on his thighs, he wonders if he's depressed.

(No. he wasn't. He couldn't be.)

But he doesn't really know what depression is and how it feels. Maybe he's just extremely sad.

Yeonjun chuckles as he sees his blood spill on the floor. He slides down to the ground to wipe it with his bare hands, turning the bathroom floor into a mini crime scene.

He had been crying for a while and now felt exhausted. He knows his make-up is smudged and he most definitely looks like a mess. But he looks at his reflection anyways.

His eyes were swollen and the residue of black tears strained his red cheeks. His lips were swollen too with a deep red tinge. It was an ugly sight. But Yeonjun liked it. He felt human. Normal. It was normal to cry over your pathetic self, wasn't it?

 _What will make me more normal?,_ he asks himself.

_Confessing secrets._

Yeonjun had a million secrets he never even told himself. They sat in his heart, trying to come out when Donghyuck was around or when his mother avoided his affection. But he rejected them. There is no way he is what _he is._

"there's no way..." he touches the face of his reflection, staining the glass with his cold blood.

"... there's no way that I'm like _Soobin..._ I'm _normal_ " he smiles. Of course, he was normal! He was definitely not like Soobin. No, no! He wasn't and he definitely didn't like Soobin either (where did that come from?).

Yeonjun shakes his head to that, laughing.

And he definitely doesn't _love_ Soobin—

_"Yeonjun", blood splatters on the concrete road. But the blood wasn't Yeonjun's. His dark hair dripped red liquid onto Soobin's face, he's laughing. His head is resting on Yeonjun's lap._

_Yeonjun can hear people screaming and sirens approaching them._

_Soobin was bleeding and so was he._

_"nice try, Yeonjun. But I'm not dying yet"_

The witch still can't believe he did that. But the adrenaline rush he experienced when he crashed Soobin's Grandeur car had felt so good. The vision of Soobin dying and him being the cause of it excited him so much it made him clench his thighs.

But that was wrong. Horribly, painfully wrong. You're not supposed to enjoy the thought of killing your enemy, nor are you supposed to be aroused whenever he _cuts_ you.

Yeonjun sits on the edge of the bathtub. He digs his nail into the fresh cut. The pain rushing throughout his leg. It hurt so much.

"it doesn't feel as good" _as when Soobin did it._

Yeonjun thought his pity party was done, that no more tears would surface. But a single drop lands on his lap, mixing itself with the maroon blood.

Wrong. Yeonjun was wrong.

* * *

Yeonjun walks into his room with bandages around his thighs. This catches the eye of Soobin who watched him from his phone.

He's grinning now.

"so, he still cuts himself"

Soobin wasn't simple minded, nor did he keep to himself. At least, not when it came to Yeonjun. His eyes were always on the witch no matter what. He loved to pay attention to how Yeonjun acted under different situations, and because of this, he remembers.

He remembers the face Yeonjun makes when he gets hurt. When he's degraded, when he's unimportant... when he's almost _dying._

Soobin gets off from that face.

The face of pure _aroused_ fervor.


	10. 𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩

There was beauty in his crystal eyes and Donghyuck always appreciated them. When he would smile, when he would roll his eyes or puff his cheeks with air, Donghyuck found loveliness in all his actions. There was something about Yeonjun that made him happy. But his happy pill is missing.

Donghyuck was prideful, always talking about how perfect he was. Everyone either ignored him or agreed with him (only to go behind his back and use their sugary tongues to degrade him). Yeonjun sometimes agreed, but most times was critical of him. That was the fascination of Yeonjun—his natural charm and sharp comments.

"Yeonjun!" Donghyuck screams, knocking on the door with full force. He moves away from the door slightly and waits for a few seconds. When he gets no response, he runs out from the gate and looks up into Yeonjun's room.

"YEONJUN!"

Donghyuck feels tears stinging his eyes and a migraine approaching.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, ANSWER ME!" he shouts. The curtains in Yeonjun's room were closed. Was he even there?

Donghyuck is sobbing now. His screams of plea were being ignored.

He takes out his phone from his back pocket and turns it on. The screen is bright and Donghyuck has to squint his eyes.

 _Help me_.

Why would Yeonjun text him _that_ and then not answer to the saving?

Donghyuck thinks to try again and takes in a large breath, ready to shout out his pathetic friend's name.

"stop"

Donghyuck turns his head swiftly.

"Soobin, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Soobin smiles almost too nicely.

"me and Yeonjun are partnered for an English project... I need to meet him"

Donghyuck sniffles, his eyes were red from the effort of stopping his tears.

"well... he's not home. You can go back to hell" there was something about Soobin that unsettled Donghyuck. He regrets overshadowing Yeonjun's concern on Soobin's 'aura', because he definitely understood his best friend's disturbance now.

The one with the dimpled smile, laughs. He eyes the shorter and shakes his head.

"He's not home you say? That's a shame" Soobin then walks over to the iron gate and opens them.

"it was nice meeting you, Donghyuck. YOU can go home, since you serve no purpose here"

Soobin opens the front door and looks over at Donghyuck's shocked expression. He gives him a notable smile.

"Yeonjun doesn't need you" and then he slams the door close.

Donghyuck feels his breathing go uneven.

What was going on? How could Soobin just enter like that? Was he... was Donghyuck really useless to Yeonjun?

He looks back at the message the witch had sent him last.

 _Help me_.

"With what, Yeonjun?" he sobs out, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. He needed clarity and someone to calm him down. Donghyuck scrolls through his contacts, stopping at Y. He presses the single contact under the letter and puts it over his left ear.

"Hello, Yukhei hyung? are you free?"

* * *

Yeonjun was pretty today. As usual. But Soobin thought the witch seemed more winsome.

"good evening, Yeonjun. You look nice"

The referred smiles. It was forced and looked odd on his depressed face.

Yeonjun drops the smile as soon as it comes though. He almost forgot he's not supposed to be kissing Soobin's feet.

He grabs his hair in frustration. His memories and feelings were all over the place.

"hey, now... calm down" Soobin drops his bag in the entryway and plods towards Yeonjun, almost as if he were approaching a knowing prey.

"I'm fine... I'm fine" Yeonjun says in a hurry once he realizes Soobin was coming closer. He looked behind him and the other was already there with a satisfied smile and an itchy hand.

"really?... I don't think you're _fine_ Yeonjun..." Soobin rests his hand on Yeonjun's bare shoulder, the tip of his fingers piercing hard into skin, but they were too blunt to hurt the miserable male underneath them.

"Yeonjun..."

He swallows, eyes blurring and heart drumming. He doesn't like Soobin's tone; it felt too familiar.

"yes?"

Yeonjun is a hundred percent sure that he shouldn't have cut himself. He had avoided that urge for two years, so a few more years wouldn't have been that hard. So why didn't he resist it this time? Why did he have to give in?

Now look at him. Once the blade had connected with his skin and welcomed him into the polluted air once again, he's not the same anymore.

Soobin's happy face over him felt too nostalgic. And it felt good.

"did you _cut_ yourself, Yeonjun?"

The witch looks away from Soobin's expectant eyes. He notices the burning candles on the coffee table and the unakite stone next to it. He remembers buying it the day after his attempted suicide, he thought it could help him resolve his inner conflict and heal his agonizing past. And it was working. Until Soobin's confession at the 'Hello Kitty' café.

He looks back at Soobin. He looked pleased and Yeonjun remembered all those moments Soobin looked that way. And yes, all those instances were when Yeonjun was harmed. The witch felt an urge to smile at the one above him because that was what he did. He loved it when he wasn't messing up and Soobin was elated... because of him.

'Because'. Yes... just 'because'. That was the reason Yeonjun gave himself whenever he couldn't give an answer to his question 'why'.

"yes"

The thrill and satisfaction in Soobin's face makes Yeonjun squirm. No matter how twisted, this was nostalgic for them both.

"what's with the look on your face?"

Soobin raises his eyebrows. He was intrigued by the question.

"what do you mean?" he asks, his other hand making its way to Yeonjun's red hot cheek. He caresses it softly.

"you..." Yeonjun looks straight into Soobin's eyes. He looked so virginal and Soobin had to remind himself to not attack his prey... yet.

"you look so proud of me... you're glad I said 'yes', right?"

Soobin chuckles.

"I know you better than you think, Yeonjun"

The witch wonders why Soobin says that.

"huh?"

"Come" Soobin grabs Yeonjun's free hands.

"come with me... I want to take you somewhere" it was the playful tint in his eyes and the eagerness in his tone that Yeonjun knew something bad was about to happen. Yet, he was standing up and letting himself get pulled out of his room.

"you will love it... I just know it" is what Soobin said but like his whole personality—that was a lie.

Yeonjun stares at the blue pool, and his heart tenses.

"The swim team was planning on using the pool today but they ended up abandoning their idea" Soobin explains, dipping his hand into the water.

...

"wanna go in?"

Yeonjun shakes his head.

"S-Soobin... please don't make me do this" his hands are trembling; they resemble his mother's.

"I'm not making you do anything, Yeonjun... because... because you want to do this, don't you? You love the thrill of almost dying... don't you?"

 _So that's what Soobin meant when he said he knows me better that I think_.

Yeonjun shakes his head one more time. But it was futile as Soobin pushed him in.


	11. 𝔄𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔶

Drowning had a calming effect on Yeonjun. It felt nice to sink into the cold water as it went through his shirt and soaked his whole body. It felt especially pleasant as he descends, knowing that the world around him was nothing but a blur and completely unimportant.

Was this how dying felt? Poetic and peaceful?

_The thrill of almost dying was exciting._

And yes. Yeonjun loved it. He blames Soobin completely for his sudden awakening lust for near-death experiences.

Both of them referred to Yeonjun’s first drowning as ‘suicide’, but they seem to know it was just Yeonjun seeking for the _thrill._

But if Soobin hadn't saved him, maybe he would really be dead. But death sounded so nice and calming that Yeonjun cringed when Soobin jumped in.

_No, not again._

Soobin was close. His arm is wrapped around Yeonjun's waist and his free hand goes behind Yeonjun’s neck. Soobin is closing his eyes and the witch can already predict what is to come.

_‘Can witches read minds!?’_

Donghyuck’s childish question surrounds Yeonjun’s mind and Soobin’s lips are already over his. Yeonjun tasted chlorine but Soobin’s lips were soft and familiar. The witch wouldn’t have minded losing himself to it but he was starting to suffocate. He grabs Soobin’s shirt, hands forming into fists, silently begging.

He doesn’t realize he’s already out; his head is over water and Soobin laughs. Just taking in the abundant oxygen makes Yeonjun choke on air. His chest burns and he wonders if he could even stop the intense coughing. He erratically moves his arms, trying to reach for the ladder submerged in the pool. Soobin stops him by a swift back hug. His arms are wrapped around Yeonjun’s chest, trapping him in place.

“Soobin—”

“didn’t that feel nice?”

Yeonjun stops fighting for a release.

“you’ve always been rejecting your feelings… _cutting_ felt nice, _drowning_ felt nice… why say no to _nice_ things?”

It was true. Pain _did_ feel nice… but it wasn’t ‘okay’, self-harm could never be—

“it’s okay”

Yeonjun is startled. Those words slowly engrave themselves into his heart.

“it’s okay, Yeonjun” Soobin comforts him, hugging him tighter.

_Do I really hate Soobin?_

* * *

“I'm stupid as fuck” Yeonjun says aloud and stands under the warm shower. The water was extremely hot and he knew Soobin had heated the water to a boiling point. But that was alright—Yeonjun needed to wake up. He proceeds to wash off the bubbly soap on his skin.

He looks down, the view of the cuts on his thighs are blurry and he rubs his thumb over them. They start to itch and he scratches the clot, peeling it off which results in the incises opening up. Yeonjun stops, his long bare nails were bloody and red water flowed into the drain.

Bleeding under the hot shower in Soobin’s bathroom gave Yeonjun a weird feeling between his thighs. A certain type of _forbidden_ pleasure.

_Stop, stop, stop… don’t think about it._

Slowly, his hands move. Yeonjun felt disgusted with himself but he didn’t stop himself until—

“YEONJUN!”

The sudden call of his name alarms him and he almost slips.

“wh… what!?”

“are you almost done?” Soobin asks, his voice muffled.

“ye-yes!”

There was a silence that followed and Yeonjun thought the other had left but,

“Are you masturbating in there?”

Yeonjun’s ears get red.

“what the fuck- no!” _Yes, I almost did._

Soobin is laughing behind the opaque bathroom door.

“okay… I've left clothes for you in the basket, wear them… or not, I don’t mind”

The witch hears footsteps fade and he cuts off the showerhead, water droplets glide down his curves and he is breathing heavily.

“I'm really stupid” he reminds himself as he covers his hip with a towel and walks out the bathroom. He sees the said clothes lying in the basket and wears them in a rush (slightly fearing Soobin might appear out of nowhere and assault him, possibly).

The outfit was a large striped shirt and fitting black hip shorts. Where were the trousers?

“hell no”

“aw, you look cute”

Yeonjun screams. He places his hands on his chest to calm down his beating heart.

Soobin stood by the entryway of the short hall, watching Yeonjun with a satisfied look.

“are you crazy? Care to give me a pair of trousers?”

Soobin had taken a shower himself in another bathroom and he slicks back his wet silver hair. He approaches the terrified witch and brings out a hand.

“don’t touch me!” Yeonjun slaps away Soobin’s hand.

The taller lets out a frustrated sigh.

“would you calm down? I'm not trying to hurt you”

That had to be the lie of the century.

Yeonjun looks up at Soobin and he states,

“you're a fucking liar… _all_ you want to do is hurt me”

And all of a sudden, Yeonjun was being carried and taken away to an unknown destination.

“wh—”

“my goodness, you're so light! You should eat more… Are you hungry? Or maybe you prefer starving. So, water? But you probably like to suffer by not drinking, huh? Me too—” Soobin rambles while carrying Yeonjun to his room.

The darker haired is placed on the bed and Soobin stays over him, his hands rest on each side of Yeonjun’s waist.

The witch tries to sit up but Soobin is blocking him from that. They stare at each other for a while until Soobin breaks eye-contact to look over at Yeonjun’s body. He notices the red cuts on his thighs.

“well…” Soobin grabs Yeonjun’s leg and pulls him closer to get a better look of the opened wound.

“This looks new,” he says, running his finger over it.

Yeonjun stays silent in the normality.

Suddenly Soobin digs his finger into it, making it bleed once more but Yeonjun doesn’t react the way he thought he would. He thought he’d panic or push the silver-haired away but he welcomes the pain instead.

_Ah, this intimate moment and overfamiliar atmosphere… This is what Yeonjun longed for._

Soobin smirks as he notices Yeonjun’s expression.

 _He’s trying so hard not to enjoy this_ , he thinks and pulls away. The blood slides around his nail.

“I have something to show you” he says and gets up from the bed to grab his laptop on the table.

“did you know there is a certain type of spy camera that is in the form of a miniscule screw?”

Yeonjun is sitting up and shakes his head ‘no’.

Soobin moves the laptop on his arms, the screen is facing Yeonjun and the latter is horrified to see himself on it.

“wh-what?”

Soobin exhales.

“can’t you give me a more interesting reaction?”

Yeonjun is too dumbstruck to even hear Soobin.

The other shuts the laptop close and says,

“the quality is quite bad right?” Soobin shakes his head as if it was very unfortunate. 

“and I wish it had audio… I might've gotten the opportunity to hear you moan my name or something” Soobin laughs right after saying that.

Yeonjun is just petrified.

“why did you even…?”

“huh? Oh… because… I _love_ you and want to watch you _all_ the time”

This felt, once again— _familiar_. Yeonjun got a flashback of Soobin videotaping him in the locker room shower. It was traumatizing but Soobin didn’t care, he never did and later used the video to blackmail Yeonjun. He ended up making the witch walk on the edge of the school rooftop. Yeonjun was surprised at first because of how harmless the ‘request’ was but Soobin had pushed him later, forcing him to stay at the hospital for a month (Yeonjun had thankfully(?) landed on a metal canopy).

“you're fine with it, right?”

Yeonjun shakes his head vigorously.

“fuck no! why the hell would I be ok with you watching me without my knowledge?”

Soobin hugs the laptop with a grin on his face,

“exactly, that’s why I told you… now you know… so you're fine with it, right?”

Yeonjun is frustrated with Soobin’s reasoning and mindset.

The taller of the two puts away the laptop and crawls on the bed towards an afraid Yeonjun.

“Junnie… remember the _reading_ you did for me?”

Of course, it was the horrible day when Soobin confessed to Yeonjun.

“I want to make it come true… c’mon, it’s just three words… say it and I’d be very happy!”

‘I love you’ is what Soobin probably wanted to hear. He was desperate and Yeonjun could see that in his crazed eyes.

“no… I don’t love you… I _hate_ you”

A normal person would've been distressed but Soobin wasn’t normal in any aspect, so he laughs.

He loved that. He loved pain. He loved being hated by the very person he loved.

And Yeonjun loved _hating_ him.


	12. 𝔦𝔫𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔬𝔲𝔰

Soobin had a high-pitched laugh and truthfully, if the situation were completely different and Yeonjun was happy, he might've laughed too. Not because the moment was hysterical, but because Soobin's laugh was contagious.

But there was nothing funny about Yeonjun withering in pain. There was nothing funny about chasing him with a bloody knife, the blood belonging to Soobin.

"Yeonjun~ why are you making this harder for _us_?"

The darker haired is taking large breaths and his head felt fuzzy. He was cold and blood dripped from his nose (he was sensitive to the cold atmosphere).

How had it come to this?

They were previously in Soobin's room, where one was quiet and the other was panicking. Then, Soobin left and Yeonjun was alone with his thoughts of embarrassment and complete anxiety. He hadn't noticed the silver-haired walk in with a French knife in hand.

Very obviously, Yeonjun had been stricken with terror and immediately asked _'what are you doing?'_ , to which Soobin answered _'I want to cut you'_.

Yeonjun rejected Soobin's advance and the latter was disappointed to say the least.

 _'are you scared it'll hurt?'_ Soobin asked and of course, Yeonjun wasn't scared of that.

 _'let me show you! It doesn't hurt at all!'_ Soobin said as he cut his upper arm slightly. A thin red line formed and Yeonjun recognized it. He had seen the same red line so many times.

Soobin was enthusiastic to do the same to Yeonjun but that wasn't what happened. A chase ensued. After a Friday the 13th chase around the house, they stopped in the beautiful kitchen.

As Yeonjun tried to catch his breath, he couldn't ignore the aesthetic beauty of the space. The cupboards were painted white and had intricate and royal designs. The walls were sky blue and gave a somewhat cool vibe. The kitchen smelled greatly of fresh mango and Yeonjun hated that it did.

"please stop..." he begs.

Soobin shakes his head and scowls deeply.

"no... why should I, when this is fun? Don't you like cutting yourself? I'm just doing you a favor here!"

Yeonjun blinks once, he sees Soobin walk closer. He blinks a second time, Soobin is blurry. Yeonjun knows he's going to lose consciousness.

He takes a step to the side. His eyes felt heavy and warm blood dripped from his chin. He wants to save himself from both Soobin AND _himself_. Because he knows if he gives in, he will _love_ and _enjoy_ the pain that will follow. No matter how many times Soobin whispers in his ear that _pain_ was ok, it wasn't! Yeonjun couldn't succumb to this!

His knees buckle and his lateral side meets the floor.

Yeonjun felt like he was drowning again, he couldn't breathe and Soobin's laughter was muffled.

"what's wrong? What's wrong?" Soobin steps on Yeonjun, making him slide to the side.

"you're so pathetic and useless... get the fuck up"

Yeonjun himself, really wanted to get up. And he tried, but failure seemed to be a recurring fate in his book.

Soobin was irritated now, he acted as if he couldn't believe how embarrassing and helpless Yeonjun could be even though he was the cause of it all.

But. There was something about a weak and exposed Yeonjun that awoke something inside him— _selfishness._

He lets go of the bloody knife and the metal meets the tiled floor. The sound resounds in the voiceless and empty house.

Soobin crouches next to Yeonjun, his face is close to the other's and a large grin decorates his face.

"is it ok if I kiss you?"

_Bullshit, why are you acting like you care about consent?_

Soobin cups Yeonjun's face (whose mind is floating between dreaming and waking) and smiles ever so softly and it almost feels romantic.

It was a one-sided kiss and Soobin seemed delighted that Yeonjun couldn't react or stop him.

"wow! It's like kissing a _dead_ person"

Yeonjun makes an effort to get up and succeeds. But Soobin pushes him right back to the cold floor. The act was done in such merciless force that Yeonjun's head hit the ground cruelly, making the dark-haired moan in pain and sob.

Yeonjun's tears evoked once again, another feeling inside Soobin. He couldn't tell what it was, but he loved to see Yeonjun's tears.

Yeonjun bites his lower lip to stop himself from making a sound. He feared if he did, something unwanted might happen (said unwanted things were already happening but Yeonjun kept hope).

"you're a mess" Soobin gets up and walks towards the sink. Yeonjun can hear the sound of water flowing down and hitting the steel sink in strong force.

"do you realize I won't be always around to keep you in line?" Soobin starts to ramble as Yeonjun sits up, fear evident in his eyes. Soobin continues spewing some useless words around but Yeonjun doesn't register them.

"let me help you" Soobin is now in front of Yeonjun, a wet cloth in hand. He starts wiping his face, removing the maroon blood.

It was silent for a while and Yeonjun relaxed. Big mistake.

Without a warning, Soobin slams Yeonjun's head against the wall they sat next to. Yeonjun screams in pain as he holds his head. He hoped he wasn't bleeding.

Soobin grabs his arm, trying to pull him closer to himself but Yeonjun kicks him away. His head is throbbing and he has an urge to throw up. He tries getting up but he can't, his tiresome legs feel like jelly and it hurts to put pressure on them. So he resorts to crawling away in desperation.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

As he makes an effort to escape, Soobin is watching him with distraught eyes.

 _No_ , he thinks.

_Yeonjun, don't leave._

He sees the red knife in his peripheral vision, and he knows what to do.

* * *

Beomgyu stops his hand midway. The scream shocks him and he wonders what's going on inside. The night was deathly cold and yellow road lights illuminate the damp concrete.

He lets out a puff of air and digs his red-tipped fingers into the pockets of his denim jacket.

He considers walking in but he hears another scream of,

_'Soobin, please! Let me go!'_

It was Yeonjun. Beomgyu recognized the sickening voice. He giggles to himself.

"I guess I'll visit Kai" and he turns around. He walks out the property while laughing as loud as he could.

"ah, I'm so sorry, Yeonjun... you belong to that psycho now it seems" he refers to Soobin.

But wasn't he a _psycho_ too?

* * *

Yeonjun was on the verge of choking on his own tears. His thigh was bleeding, he could feel thick blood flow out of the fresh cut. He really wished he could bandage himself, but Soobin was atop him and he held the knife near Yeonjun's neck.

"S-Soobin—"

"no, Yeonjun... I won't kill you"

The wounded swallowed hard, his tears couldn't stop even though he didn't feel sad or scared. Maybe he's crying because he knows something bad is about to happen. Like maybe,

"I won't kill you... but I want to have sex with you"

"..."

Soobin tilts his head.

"would you fight back?"

"..."

"hm? Would you, Yeonjun?"

"yes"

Soobin pouts.

"well, that's unfortunate... this will be harder than I hoped, huh?"

Unfortunate. That word described Yeonjun's whole life.


	13. 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔱

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAMIER:  
> \- this chapter is going to have a non-explicit rape scene (spoiler?) and I am not glorifying or romanticizing it.

Yeonjun had been knocked unconscious. He wonders how he’s still alive, the pain he’s been going through felt too severe. His consciousness keeps on slipping in and out of reality. He’s being carried, his cold body leaves the icy floor and is put against a warm chest. He tries to say something but nothing comes out—he believes he’s in a dream. A fever dream. He’s had fever dreams a million times before, mostly about dying and getting the most pleasurable burst. But they were painful dreams nonetheless and waking up afterwards was always petrifying.

What is going on? A cloth is being wrapped around his neck- it’s lace, Yeonjun can feel the rough texture. Someone is caressing his leg and he feels tingles all over. He also felt cold. Slowly, the blurriness in his eyes clear and he sees an empty ceiling. His breathing suddenly fastens, he felt like his body was rejecting air from entering his lungs. Because of his muddled thoughts and the unknowing higher power next to him—he starts panicking.

The lace around his neck gets tighter as he tries to move, his hands go there and he makes an effort to loosen it.

“no, no, no, Yeonjun!” Soobin grabs his wrists and puts them over his head.

“S-Soobin-”

“now, I want you to cooperate, ok? It’ll only hurt for a while”

“wh-what?” Yeonjun’s eyes are fixed on Soobin’s and he’s never felt fear like this. Death would never scare him as much as Soobin did.

Soobin was shirtless and in the dim lighting Yeonjun could see the contours of his body. He didn’t want this.

* * *

Donghyuck wipes his eyes with the tissues but his broken sobs don’t stop. Yukhei awkwardly sits next to him, unsure of what to do even though he wished he could soothe the crying boy.

“I'm so sorry, hyung… I- I’ll leave—”

“no! I mean, it’s ok! You don’t have to leave… actually I’M sorry, I'm really bad at comforting people” Yukhei moves his hand animatedly.

Donghyuck manages to giggle.

“thank you… but I should really leave… I have a bad feeling about Yeonjun and Soobin”

Yukhei turns his head to the side. By what Donghyuck had told him the last hour, all he knows is that Soobin is a weirdo.

“I'm sure they’re fine!” he says absentmindedly. Donghyuck looks at him with hopeless eyes.

The smaller male knew something bad was going on. He couldn’t tell if it was a ‘ _best friend’s_ _intuition_ ’ or just a gut feeling, but he had an urge to go knocking in Soobin’s house. Not Yeonjun’s home because his mother had told Donghyuck he wasn’t there.

And that was enough reason for him to leave and knock on Soobin’s door.

But then, Yukhei was letting him stay and was doing a poor job of comforting him. And in his lovesick mind he thought,

_I'm sure Yeonjun is okay._

* * *

All Yeonjun could feel was the prickly texture of the bed cloth, and all he could smell was bubblegum and sweat. He closed his eyes shut to suppress pained tears. He had tried so hard to push away Soobin, but had only gotten put in another position— his red knees and elbows brushed harshly against the bed while the cloth tied around his neck made his head stay up and block his breathing slightly.

The smell of bubblegum came from the lubricating oil Soobin had slathered into his hole, his finger sliding in easily and making Yeonjun shiver and hiccup. This foreign feeling he had never wanted to feel, was being implemented on him by the person he hated the most.

“you're a virgin right?... of course you are, why wouldn’t you be?” Soobin didn’t wait for Yeonjun’s response. Maybe he should have because Yeonjun _wasn’t_ a virgin. But he was scared to voice that, Soobin most probably would get upset and might react in a way that could cost great harm or their _lives_.

Soobin’s hand traced Yeonjun’s back, his fingers sliding against the boney structure.

“don’t you eat? You should eat and gain some muscles and overall… be healthy, y’know?” Soobin begins his usual rambling while his fingers squelch inside of Yeonjun.

The dark haired shut his lips as he waits for the suffering to pass, he hated how Soobin kept on going deeper with his ghostly fingers.

“ah!”

Soobin stops.

“hm… could it be?” he acts gullible.

Yeonjun’s palms turns into fists and he bites his lower lip hard. He knows Soobin had reached it. And he had felt tremendous sexual gratification in that one second. He’s afraid he might chase for it if Soobin played with him.

“no… no, no! I don’t think so—” Soobin shoves his fingers in as deep as he can and Yeonjun holds in a distressed moan but his knees buckle, it was too much too soon. Soobin is giggling like a schoolboy, enjoying the harm he was giving to a smaller and powerless-

“please, stop! I- I will do anything you want… please”

Soobin sighs. Did Yeonjun really believe that words would get him out of this situation?

He turns him over, a little satisfied that Yeonjun was as aroused as he was. Even though he spoke words that explained his discomfort and described unwanted sex—he didn’t try to escape. Either Yeonjun had completely given up or he was lying to himself.

“here’s what we’re going to do” Soobin makes his trembling companion sit up. He pulls him close enough to kiss him. But they don’t. Yeonjun can feel hot breath on his lips and Soobin starts speaking,

“you have really nice lips” a finger slides right under his lip, “and I want it around my cock”

* * *

“do you want to die?”

Kai lets out a frustrated sound that was as undistinguishable as his present situation.

Beomgyu in his room and that was never good. Kai liked hanging out with him, (he had a crush on him so obviously!) but not alone. Maybe in a crowd or with an uncaring Taehyun. Why? because Beomgyu had proved himself to ask horrifyingly boring questions.

“no! and can we talk about something more—”

“what happened to your finger?”

Kai looks down at the white bandaged finger of his and he searches his brain for reasonable excuses, but then he remembers the broken stature of Taehyun.

“what did you do to Taehyun?”

Beomgyu raises his eyebrows, looking unbothered.

“he hit me… I only defended myself”

Kai shakes his head.

“I saw him, you—”

“Huening!” Beomgyu stands up, “how can you fucking believe that pathetic, self-centered piece of shit!? Huh? Do you actually think I started the fight? That I'm capable of- of hurting someone at my own will!? Don’t you think… I fought back to protect myself?”

The pure rage and disbelief in Beomgyu’s eyes make Kai regret his words and hate himself for thinking of his crush as someone who could start a fight. Now he was starting to think of Taehyun in a different light.

But then, Beomgyu laughs. It felt as if he was laughing at Kai for being stupid. It was a mocking laugh.

“oh my god, did you really believe me?”

Kai is confused.

“Huening~ Kai~, you're so forgetful!” Beomgyu sighs like a disappointed parent.

“did you forget how I bullied Taehyun? How I tried to kill him?”

Of course, Kai remembers. But he doesn’t want to.

Beomgyu bites his lip hard to stop himself from saying anything harsh but,

“I wish I had succeeded”


	14. 𝔥𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
> -> armature smut ahead~~ I'm not a genius so I don't know how gay sex and male anatomy works, so if you read something that seems weird and unbelievable-- ignore it~♡

Soobin pulls away Yeonjun by grabbing a fistful of his dark locks. The look on his face was beautiful in Soobin's eyes.  
Yeonjun's lips were painfully red with the opaque cum dripping down, his cheeks were rosy, but his eyes-

"there's beautiful hearts in your eyes..."

Yeonjun gasps slightly. Those words struck a memory.

_Beautiful hearts are in your eyes..._

They had been the first words Soobin spoke to him. It had sounded weird but Yeonjun liked it.  
Cold fingertips caress his warm cheeks and the lace around his neck loosens. Soobin pushes him into the bed, his head rests on the fluffy pillow and he breathes in a familiar scent. Soobin is over him, his silver hair hiding psychotic and hungry eyes.

"are you enjoying this?"  
Soobin says while kissing his inner thigh. Yeonjun brings the back of his hand to wipe off the semen from his lips.

"no"

Soobin laughs and then bites his skin.

"then being gentle is out of the picture I guess"

"Soobin... you've already done whatever is required to call sex... what more do you want from me?" Yeonjun covers his eyes to hide the welling tears.  
That was true. But Soobin didn't think that. Yes they had sex, but he wanted to make _love_. Yeonjun had to enjoy this as well! If he didn't then Soobin will continue and not stop until-

"you need to enjoy"

Yeonjun hiccups.  
His hands are being removed and his vision is blurry. Soobin kisses him near his lip and then licks his tears. Salty.

"I can't enjoy... if y-you're fucking ra-raping-" Soobin stops Yeonjun from completing the sentence by slapping him hard across the face and then proceeding to strangle him by pulling the lace wrapped around his neck.

"this isn't rape! It's not, you airhead! It's not because I- I- I LOVE YOU... you can't rape someone you love... that's not how... _it works_ " Soobin whispers the last words. He definitely doesn't have common sense. His ideology of various things has always been twisted- so this was (sadly) no surprise for a choking Yeonjun.

"S- S- Soo- Soobin-"

_"Soobin-hyung!"_

The silver haired lets go of the lace and Yeonjun is coughing hysterically and taking in large breaths.  
Beomgyu was on the other side of the door. He's smiling evilly as he says,

_"I've brought Huening Kai over... that's ok right?"_

Yeonjun's eyes widened in fear and unexpected shock. He looks up at Soobin- who's already looking at him with emotionless eyes.

"that's fine"

_"thanks! We're just going to watch anime and order takeout... but I want you to do me a favor"_

"what?" Soobin asks.

 _"Can you and Yeonjun-hyung be quiet?... thank you!"_ and Beomgyu walks away, giggling to himself.  
Yeonjun is frozen in disbelief. Beomgyu was someone he really hated at the moment. Fresh tears resurface. Soobin grabs his nape and whispers near his ear,

"you heard him... you need to be _quiet_ "

* * *

Kai looks around Beomgyu's room. It looked different again. By each visit Beomgyu always changed the theme of his room. The last time Kai had visited, his crush's room was filled with cacti and cheesy poetry and the main colors were green and cream. And as expected, Beomgyu's room had a different aesthetic now, but it was a little weird.  
Posters of anime girls in tight school uniforms and little boys in maid outfits adorned the walls. Kai notices various body pillows and figurines. And there were neon lights that changed colors every ten seconds.

"Beomgyu... really?"

"aw, c'mon Kai! Anime characters are hot!" Beomgyu defends as he opens up his laptop.

"what do you wanna watch?"

"whatever you want"

Kai sits down next to Beomgyu on the carpet. Out of nowhere, he hears a muffled whine. It sounded extremely disturbing (and somewhat near), he turned to ask Beomgyu if he heard anything.

"hm? I heard nothing!" the brunette blurts as he types swiftly, "I found something to watch!" he says, changing the subject.

"huh? What, what?" Kai asks, getting distracted easily.

Beomgyu smirks slightly as he says,

_"Boku no Pico"_

* * *

Yeonjun breathes heavily as Soobin enters him a second time. He clutches the pillow, the softness not helping him calm down. His waist is being grabbed tightly and sharp teeth connect with his shoulder. A heavy voice continually whispers harshly, telling him to be quiet.  
He closes his thighs, unknowing making himself tighter. Soobin's two fingers are in his mouth-maybe as an attempt to keep him silent, but Yeonjun gags on them. The lace around his neck once again gets tight. He looks up, the wall had long wooden hooks (it almost looked like a torture device) and they had the lace cloth wrapped around them. Yeonjun remembers seeing such a dramatic way of choking a person during sex in a movie once.  
He's flipped over, Soobin is panting as his hands cover Yeonjun's chest. He grins cheekily as he says.

"are you so turned on that even your nipples are hard?"

Soobin's unsympathetic fingers squeeze his buds, turning them a burning scarlet, he bends down to suck them and it almost cooled down the heat and pain, but Soobin being Soobin- he bites them and Yeonjun yelps.

"shh~, remember, Kai is in the next room... he can hear you"

...

"are you enjoying this yet?"

...

Soobin sits up, grabbing Yeonjun's ankle, he pulls him closer and places his legs over his shoulders.

"maybe a different angle will be better, huh?... I totally agree" Soobin says as he pours a generous amount of opaque pink liquid onto his palm.

"I'm sure it doesn't hurt anymore... I've already come twice... but you haven't even once" Soobin mumbles to himself while Yeonjun just stares at him blankly.

"I promise I'll make you cum, ok? I really need you to enjoy this" _bullshit, bullshit, bullshit._

Yeonjun prepares himself mentally for Soobin to enter him and thrust in roughly. He tells himself-it'll end soon, it's ok-over and over again. But the silver haired never enters him, instead he lets go of Yeonjun's legs and is now bended. He reveals his pink tongue with a silver pill-like piercing- that he had managed to wear when Yeonjun was going through a mental crisis. All of a sudden, Yeonjun's heart is racing, he doesn't know what to expect as the other parts his legs. Soobin's tongue slides against Yeonjun's perineum, it was a feathery touch but the male is already shivering at the foreign feeling. His taint had never been stimulated before, so this was a first. Soobin gently presses his tongue on the spot, the piercing suddenly vibrating.  
Yeonjun's breathing fastens and he feels a little shocked at the sudden vibration. Soobin goes up and down, like a cat licking. But this simple action makes Yeonjun arch his back and bite his lip. It felt unreasonably good. Soobin removes his vibrating tongue and looks up with a smirk.

"feel good yet?"

Yeonjun avoids eye contact. He was embarrassed.

Soobin decides to use the knuckle of his index finger instead of his tongue. He wanted to see pleasure bloom on Yeonjun's face. He massages the perineum up and down at first, watching Yeonjun take sharp breaths. He then moves his knuckle clockwise and Yeonjun whines cutely.  
Soobin figures he needs to do something more to get Yeonjun to cry out and reach a climax. He bends once more to run his wet lips over the head of Yeonjun's cock and takes it in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the tip, testing the waters. He just wanted to make Yeonjun tremble, not break him under the intense pleasure (which was different from what he always wanted to do, but he ignores that thought). As he's doing erotic things with the head, his knuckle continues to make circular and various other motions.

"mm~ haah~" Yeonjun moans, his hands grabbing the pillow once more and his legs naturally go up, trying to find a comfortable position. He thinks he's going to orgasm, and Soobin seems to know this somehow as he stops his movement and presses his knuckle hard into Yeonjun's taint, helping him reach into an almost blinding yet calm climax. Yeonjun lets out a dragged, relieving moan. He hides his face as he does this.  
Soobin watches while thinking,

_I wanted to hurt him, but I did the exact opposite. What's wrong with me?_


	15. 𝔫𝔞ï𝔳𝔢𝔱é

Huening Kai was traumatized. Was he 16? Or was he 22? _Boku no Pico_ had scarred him for life.  
He is basically floating as he goes to fetch the pizza from the delivery girl at the door, but as he passes Soobin’s room, someone walks out. It was Yeonjun.

“K-Kai!”

“hyung!? what are you doing here?—” Kai’s eyes naturally look all over Yeonjun’s body (his legs were exposed because the only cloth item on him was a large-sized dress shirt. His feet were also bare), Kai notices the purple bruises on his thighs and how Yeonjun’s lip was bleeding and the redness around his eyes. Kai is concerned.

“hyung, what happened?”

“I-”

“nothing concerning you”  
Soobin appears behind Yeonjun, his arms go around the shorter’s shoulders in a mockingly loving way. Kai is both repulsed and worried.  
The tall boys stare each other down, communicating telepathically and most definitely cursing the other. Yeonjun feels the tenseness and he hates it. He just wants to sleep.

“what happened to your finger, huh? Looks like it hurts”

Kai looks down at his broken finger and avoids eye contact.

“don’t worry it doesn’t hurt that bad… your concern is not needed”

Soobin raises his eyebrows, impressed but not really at Kai’s snappiness.

“Kai—”

“shh~ Yeonjunnie~ don’t speak unless I tell you to! That’s kinda rude y’know”

 _Is this asshole for real?,_ Kai thinks.

“what the fuck is going on here!? Kai! I thought you were gonna get the pizza! Fine I’ll get it myself”  
Beomgyu whizzes past them and opens the door, the poor delivery girl who waited for a long while, fakes a smile as she hands him the four boxes and four Pepsi cans.

“I hope y’all are hungry!” Beomgyu says with a bored face expression.

Kai didn’t want to stay, but for Yeonjun’s sake he didn’t leave. The oldest leaves to take a shower and cover himself up properly.

“what… What did you do to hyung?” Kai asks Soobin. He had a stern look on his face but his heart was beating like crazy. Soobin terrified him.  
The silver haired just eats a slice of pizza, ignoring Kai. Beomgyu answers in his place,

“ah, he fucked the living daylights out of him, duh~”

Kai is horrified.

“um, was it consensual though?” he whispers mostly to himself.

Soobin snorts.

“of course it was”

* * *

Let’s say the pizza party was a mess. Beomgyu lost it when Kai kept on interviewing Soobin about Yeonjun and grabbed a pen, threatening to poke Yeonjun’s eyes out if Kai didn’t stop thinking about him. Talk about obsessed.  
The oldest left first, he didn’t want to be around Soobin any longer and surprisingly he was let go. Kai was held back by a bloodthirsty Beomgyu.

As Yeonjun walks home, he wants to cry and at least have some peace and tranquility for a minute. But his eyes were dry, he couldn’t even force himself to form tears. His phone is broken and he can’t afford a new one, he could ask his father to buy him a new phone, but he hated him. He could never meet that man again, not after what he did to his mother. Ms. Choi was too naïve, and her naïvety seemed to have passed down to her son.

Yeonjun decides he would go to his best friend’s home because he didn’t want to see his mother and fake a story about falling down the stairs.  
All of a sudden, there was a spark in his heart and a smile started forming. He couldn’t wait to meet someone who would calm him and cuddle with him. Yeonjun runs to Donghyuck’s home and immediately bangs on the door, completely impatient.

Taeyong opens the door, he was Donghyuck’s half-brother and an underground rapper but also a complete sweetheart.

“oh, Yeonjun! How nice to see you” Taeyong greets with a bright and meaningful smile. The positivity disappoints Yeonjun a little.

“h-hi, is Donghyuck home?”

“yup! He’s in his room… go on ahead” Taeyong moves away, letting Yeonjun in. but once he entered, Taeyong could see his red eyes and busted lip.

“oh my! Yeonjun- what happened?” the older man grabs his face to analyze it properly. Yeonjun blushes red and moves away immediately.

“I… I fell off the- the stairs”

Taeyong closes the door and hums.

“I see”

Yeonjun stands there awkwardly for a second and then runs off to his best friend’s room.

Donghyuck was on his bed, wearing glasses and dressed in a duck onesie as he read a picture book. He doesn’t notice Yeonjun enter.

“Hyuck…”

The brunette turns and sits up immediately,

“Yeonjun- you shithead! I've been calling you on your phone about a million times now! Where the fuck—”  
Donghyuck notices Yeonjun’s bruised state and he sees red as he gets off the bed. It was comical, a small guy dressed in a cute onesie while he screams bloody Mary. Yeonjun tries to calm him.

“was it Soobin!?”

It would have been so easy to say _‘yes’_ and blame Soobin for everything. It would have been nice to see Donghyuck rap curses towards Soobin and attack him the next day, but—

“no”

Donghyuck’s eyes widen.

“ _no?_ Junnie, why are you lying?”  
The taller among the two shakes his head, a sorry smile on his face.

“it- it wasn’t… I _promise”_ why was he defending his perpetrator.

Donghyuck seems he wanted to say more and give Yeonjun and hour-long lecture but the darker haired just hugs him, whispering,

“please… let it be and ramble about yourself” that was Donghyuck’s specialty. He really wants to say something and slap some sense into his best friend but he doesn’t, instead he clears his throat and starts,

“so like, because you suck as a friend and weren't there, I went to visit Yukhei-hyung—”  
they were on the bed now, Donghyuck’s cookie dough smell enveloping Yeonjun into a sleepy trance.

The shorter continues the rambling,

“—and we were having a moment and I think he was about to kiss me when this douche called _Mark Lee_ enters- like he’s Korean why does he have an English name?- anyways, he completely cockblocked us—” Donghyuck’s voice is fading and sounding more like it’s underwater- Yeonjun’s favorite place. He closes his eyes, finding peace in the moment.

* * *

Yeonjun is soaking in a bathtub. When he had returned home, his mother didn’t greet him because she was busy crying over an ugly painting of her ex-husband. He made his presence known and then went straight to his room.  
It was early in the morning and Yeonjun was to get ready for school, but he thinks he needs a break. Or at least deserves one. A bath was perfect.  
He grabs some rose quartz, dried petal, moon water, aventurine crystals and various other elements that he believed would be needed in this specific ritual bath. He lights a few candles and closes his eyes to think. Things had been starting to circle around, as if the past few years were happening all over again. It felt as if he was meeting Soobin for the first time and not knowing anything about him. And Yeonjun was letting that devil take over his heart again.  
He opens his eyes, he had been stupid enough to wear eyeliner before getting in and he knew it must've been smudged and sliding down his cheeks like black tears. He lets himself slowly sink into the holy bathwater and thinks,

_It feels like I'm only going backwards._


	16. 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔯𝔲𝔪

The morning was auspicious in Soobin’s eyes. The blue sky was hidden by grey clouds and the weather forecast indicated heavy rain. He puts on a magenta-colored bucket hat and a bright blue windcheater. He doesn’t forget his complimentary yellow umbrella of course. He was feeling all the colors this morning. Beomgyu was feeling depressed so he stays back home and doesn’t leave his bed.

“hyung, can you send Kai over after school?... and don’t come back home for the whole day please”

“and where am I supposed to go if I cannot return?”

Beomgyu rolls his bloodshot eyes.

“harass Yeonjun or something, I don’t give a fuck”

Soobin takes that into consideration.

He walks to school instead of taking his bike. Upon reaching the building, he sees Taehyun.

“well, hello there”

“leave me alone, psycho”

Soobin looks down at his umbrella and has an urge to stab Taehyun with the finial. He stops himself.

“you are Yeonjun’s childhood friend, am I right?”

Taehyun starts walking faster.

“what’s it to you?”

“well, you see, I wanted to make sure you don’t have suppressed feelings for him… do you?” if he did, Soobin knows how to hide a body.

“no! and leave me alone!” Taehyun sounds frustrated but Soobin doesn’t listen to his demand instead, he just follows Taehyun, thinking,  
 _He’s lying, he’s lying, he’s lying…_  
He has an urge to push Taehyun to the floor and let all the students be spectators to his murder. But someone stops Soobin from doing so. Yukhei.

“oh, hey president! I need to talk to you!”

Soobin looks at him with irritated eyes but tries to not look unapproachable.

“what is it?”

Yukhei- as gullible as ever, doesn’t notice the raging aura. He just smiles as he explains the problems the football team was facing, and asks for solutions.

“talk to the vice-president… I don’t have time” Soobin says rudely and pushes Yukhei aside. He is late to the morning meeting at the nature clubroom.

“oh, prez!”

Soobin is still walking, ignoring Yukhei’s loud calls.

“please control yourself!”

The silver haired turns.

 _I don’t know what he knows… but he’s such a fool,_ Soobin thinks as he watches Yukhei walking away— who thought he did something good.

* * *

Donghyuck was worried when Yeonjun didn’t come to school. He had already texted his best friend at least twenty times, hoping for a reply. As he sends one last message, he hopes Yeonjun is only asleep.

The first class was geography and it was boring. Usually, Donghyuck would pass the time by gossiping with Yeonjun— who he always sat next to, but he was alone this time. He tries to pay attention to the lesson but realizes he doesn’t really need to know about the continental shift and how Australia is wider that the moon. They were basically useless information.  
He almost falls asleep until someone walks into the classroom. It was Soobin. Donghyuck wants to get up, walk over and uppercut Soobin’s jaw. He doesn’t though.

“Good morning, Ms. Im” Soobin greets.

The teacher smiles widely at him and asks if he needed something. Soobin looks over the classroom, searching for someone. His eyes zero into Donghyuck and the empty seat next to him.

“is Choi Yeonjun not here?”

 _I knew it,_ Donghyuck thinks. He’s glaring at Soobin.

“oh, no. he’s absent today” the teacher says.

“I see… I apologize for disturbing your class!” Soobin bows respectfully and leaves after the teacher says some common words.

Donghyuck knows Soobin is going to visit Yeonjun and he isn't going to let that happen.

 _I’ll go straight to his home after school,_ he thinks, knowing there would be no hiccup in his way.  
  
“will you go on a date with me?”

Donghyuck stops midbite and turns to face a red-faced Yukhei.

“excuse me?”

“y-you don’t have to! J-just a suggestion!” Yukhei says fast. It was lunch break and both of them were in the football field.

“no, it’s fine! Perfect actually, it’s a ye-” Donghyuck stops himself. How could he say ‘yes’? Yeonjun needed him. The witch hadn't even responded to his texts—  
Realization hits Donghyuck like a truck. Yeonjun’s phone was broken! He’s embarrassed of himself; how could he forget something so vital?

Yukhei is looking at him with big, expectant eyes. Donghyuck didn’t want to reject him, but his best friend was more important.

“I'm sorry, but-”

“you're worried about Yeonjun, right?”

Donghyuck is taken aback, but appreciates Yukhei for understanding.

“can you not… let someone else check up on him?”

Donghyuck shakes his head.

“I should do it myself… I'm his best friend and there is so much I don’t know about him… he needs me”

Yukhei nods.

“then some other time?”

“yup”

The taller smiles at that, looking thankful. But really, he’s upset and maybe, he doesn’t really like Yeonjun at the moment.

* * *

The water was cold and Yeonjun was shivering. He had been biting his lips and twisting the knife- with no handle- around with his finger and thumb. He hiccups. The water is red. Was he crying or was it just the bathwater dripping down his chin? He doesn’t know anymore. The blood around his wrists slides around his elbow before dripping into the water. Ah, this felt comforting. The pain hurt. When he cut himself, it hurt. But it was the aftermath that he loved, when the blood is falling like rain and the cut burns, the feeling is so satisfying.

Yeonjun doesn’t think he’s a masochist.

Someone knocks on his bathroom door.

 _“a friend is here”_ his mother slurs. She’s drinking during the daytime, Yeonjun knows she’s going through another depression cycle. He’s glad he isn't, it would be unfortunate to have your depression cycle alongside a parent.

“o- ok” he finally gets out, sneezing.

He dresses himself in a soft blue hoodie and fluffy pajamas and walks down the stairs (his mother’s sobs are loud but she’s in her room, thankfully).

 _It must be Soobin,_ Yeonjun thinks once he steps down the last stair.

“hey, babe. Are you alright? You missed school”

Soobin is standing in a lazy stance but with a positive smile.  
Yeonjun curses his shaky hands.

“I'm fine… why’re you here? School’s not over”

“you're more important”  
  
Yeonjun takes him to his room. He leaves the door open because he’s not risking his life.  
Soobin twirls on his heels to face Yeonjun.

“should I show you where the camera is?” he suddenly says.

The raven is not moving or speaking. It didn’t matter anyways, Soobin was going to show him nonetheless.  
The silver haired passes him and closes the door (Yeonjun’s breathing fastens) and points at a screw near the door handle.

“this is the camera”

Yeonjun is shocked, this was unexpected. A screw camera seemed like something the government would use. But amazon sold stuff like this, Yeonjun remembers seeing a tissue box that had a hidden camera in it. It had cost around 75700 won.

“come see”

Yeonjun shakes his head.

Soobin looks at him with a sharp gaze and asks,  
“will you try to remove it?”

…

“will you always keep the door close so I can watch you all the time?”

…

Soobin walks over and stands close, he didn’t like how Yeonjun looked down and avoided eye contact. He cups Yeonjun’s cheeks in his palms, forcing him to look up.

“Yeonjun, do you realize you can’t live without me?”

“that’s… not true”

Soobin chuckles pleasantly.

“I can’t live without you”

Yeonjun’s eyes are teary. He realizes he cannot avoid Soobin. The psycho was never going to leave him. But wasn’t he a psycho too for liking it? He hated that he couldn’t do anything to stop himself from seeing Soobin as a life source.

When they first met, Yeonjun’s father was leaving his mother. Ms. Choi begged and cried for her husband to not leave her but he didn’t care, he was going to marry his mistress. It was the first time Yeonjun hated someone. Soobin had come at the worst possible time, making him feel loved and taking the empty spot in his heart. Yeonjun had developed feelings.  
But Soobin had to destroy everything. When he realized Yeonjun harbored feelings for him, he began the bullying. It was verbal first and then slowly became physical. The first time Soobin punched him, he had asked,

_‘was that too painful? Did the pain feel good? No? I’ll hit you lighter this time’_

Yeonjun was choked the most. Soobin seemed to love doing that a lot. Maybe that’s why Yeonjun gets off of losing his breath.

But why couldn’t he stop his feelings for a beast? It didn’t make sense, Soobin treated him like the dirt beneath his shoes, so why couldn’t he stop?

“I love you”

Yeonjun hears those words and feels the urge to say it back; but he very well knows that he can't.


	17. 𝔮𝔲𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔶

Soobin was working on their English project, mindlessly uttering demeaning words towards their teacher.

“we have to turn it in next week… but I prefer doing things early. It makes the teachers like me more” he says without making eye-contact.  
Yeonjun just slurped his juice from the plastic straw as he hugged his knees. He didn’t want to speak or blink his eyes. He just watches Soobin type poetic words on his laptop.

“gosh, this is so boring” Soobin says, his fingers moving faster. Yeonjun knows what he’s thinking. The silver haired probably wants to do something life threatening again.

“have you ever tried alcohol or drugs?”

“no”

Soobin finally looks at him.

“really? Not even when you were depressed?” he has a condescending smile; he’s most probably mocking the other’s mental health.  
Yeonjun doesn’t even flinch, he just blinks for the first time in a while.

“I'm not interested”

Soobin shuts the laptop and says with a large smile,  
“well, now you are! Let’s go—”

Someone is knocking on the front door.  
Soobin’s expression turns sour and he rolls his eyes as he says,

“must be Donghyuck”

Yeonjun’s eyes widen and he stands up to go and open the door to his best friend. But of course, Soobin had to stop him by grabbing his wrist.

“get rid of him”

Yeonjun lets out a breath and just nods.

* * *

Donghyuck is confused on why Yeonjun is not opening his door completely.

“oh, hi Hyuck,” he greets through the small space.

“uh, hey… you weren't in school so I came to make sure you're doing alright”

“yeah… yeah, I'm completely fine…”

There’s a silence. Donghyuck was waiting for Yeonjun to open the door wide and invite him in.

“I’d like to be alone right now so…” Yeonjun says instead of letting his friend in.

Donghyuck frowns deeply, the wheels in his head start moving.

“is someone else home with you? Besides your mom?” he asks, avoiding saying the cursed name.

“huh? Oh no… it’s uh- just me and my mother…”

Donghyuck was holding a small basket of warm donuts. He pulls it up to display it properly to his best friend.

“alright, well I brought you some donuts! I made it by myself in home eco. I'm sure you’ll love it!” the shorter says excitedly and moves forward to enter. Yeonjun puts a hand out while squeezing the door into himself.

“my mom’s not doing well and I don’t think she’d appreciate it if you came in!” he says fast without a hiccup.  
Donghyuck’s expression drops once more. His arms fall limb to his sides and he takes in a breath.

“Yeonjun, are you hiding something from me?”

The witch shakes his head.

“no! never!”

Donghyuck can spot the lie very easily and even though he loved starting drama— he didn’t want to start it with Yeonjun.

“okay… sure… I believe you. I’ll be in the greenhouse. Here” he hands the hamper and walks off.  
Yeonjun is guilt ridden as he walks up to his room with the basket full of the now cold donuts.

“he’s gone?” Soobin asks once Yeonjun steps into the room. He’s holding the replica voodoo doll of himself and stabbing it continuously with a sewing pin that he must've found under the bed (the dark place under Yeonjun’s bed had a lot of lost and embarrassing items like hair strands of his past crushes- Soobin’s as well, sadly).

“he went to the greenhouse near the house… so I suppose ‘yes’” Yeonjun places the basket on his study table.

“are you ready then? Let’s go!” Soobin grabs his arm.

“no! I don’t want to!” Yeonjun pulls away, his heart is beating inconsistently and he senses the irritation build up in Soobin’s mind.

“oh… right, you need to dress up, don’t you? You need to look pretty. I understand that… I’ll give you ten minutes to get ready then” Soobin sounded proud that he understood the turmoil Yeonjun went through in that minute.  
But Yeonjun is shaking his head.

“Soobin I don’t want to go anywhere with you… can you just leave and never come back?” just requesting for Soobin to leave him alone has suddenly become such a casual thing that asking him for it seemed like a daily reoccurrence.  
The silver haired moves a step further.

“you need to do your hair and makeup too”

Yeonjun is silent. As expected, Soobin could’nt be bargained with.

“I have to like it though… if I don’t then that would be a shame, right? you need to look good for me, don’t you?”  
He’s waiting for a reply.  
Yeonjun feels sick.

“what do you want?”

Soobin shrugs.

“red”

* * *

Yeonjun used to have a close friend before Donghyuck. Her name was Jisu. He met her the same time he met Soobin.  
Jisu was a great influence in his life even though they only knew each other for a few months. She was a year younger and unwell most of the time—she had earth shattering migraines on the daily. He remembers on their first meeting she was puking out her breakfast on the pavement outside their school.  
Jisu was also Soobin’s cousin. She hated him- she told Yeonjun all the time. When he asked why she would never tell.  
She didn’t know about Soobin bullying and torturing him because he did it behind closed doors. People had ideas but they never really expanded on the information they had. Everyone was a little scared of Soobin and what he could do.  
And even though Jisu was such a nice companion and an inspiration- she really had no empathy. Yeonjun supposed psychopathy was in the family blood.

 _‘and you did nothing?’_ she had said when Yeonjun told her about his several encounters with Soobin.  
Yeonjun had tried to explain he was stricken with fear and couldn’t fight back, he tried to explain how he wasn’t consenting, he tried to explain how he was the victim. But all Jisu said was,

_‘it’s kinda your fault… you could've fought back! Maybe you didn’t ’cause you liked it?... Yeonjun- oppa, do you actually like it?’_

He never saw her after that talk. Soobin said she ran away but Yeonjun believes something more sinister went into her disappearance.

Yeonjun uses a soft cotton bud to wipe away his forming tear. He didn’t want to ruin his eye makeup. Now wasn’t the time to cry.  
Soobin had walked out the room with a small warning and said he would wait outside the home. Yeonjun thinks he just wants to run into Donghyuck eavesdropping.

At the moment, the witch pulls out a crop-top Soobin would definitely appreciate. It was gifted by him so he must.  
Visually it was hard on the eyes, it was red and had painful neon alphabets. It read _‘beautiful hearts are in your eyes’_ (Soobin’s favorite quote somehow) and Yeonjun realizes he’d never worn it once. It was shorter than expected and he glowered at his reflection. He had to make it work.  
He settled for black jeans and a colorful Air Force pair. Minimal is the best he thinks as he walks out. He contemplates asking for his mother’s blessings and good luck (because he felt he was going to die tonight) but decides against it. His mother had the worst luck.

“Well, I approve” Soobin says playfully when he sees Yeonjun. He feels the skull earring on the raven-haired and pulls on it. He liked how the witch’s ear went red. It went with the outfit after all.  
Yeonjun’s eyes darted towards the greenhouse. He hoped Donghyuck had left.

“should we go?” Soobin asks as he grabs his hand and entwines their fingers immediately.

“where exactly?”

Soobin doesn’t say anything for a while.

“at a _friend’s_ ”


	18. 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬𝔵𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔱

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER ➳
> 
> ‣ there will be mention of a 'cult' (nothing explicit).
> 
> ‣ there will be a lot of 'cutting of skin' as a form of cult activity. 'Drug abuse' is also mentioned (again, nothing too explicit).
> 
> ‣ I am not a cult genius; the only form of information I have is the internet, so things may not be accurate.
> 
> ‣ I am 'not romanticizing' any of the actions happening in the chapter.

He had green hair and reptile eyes and he smoked a burning cigarette. Yeonjun didn't like this _friend_ of Soobin's.

"hey, _Cholog_ " Soobin greets.

The male just hands him a fanny pack and says,

"fuck off"

Soobin laughs at being cursed out. He laughed at anything after all.

* * *

Soobin takes Yeonjun to a normal looking two-story house. But it was anything but normal. Actually, it was the portal to hell. It was a fucking cult party.

This scene was nothing new to Yeonjun, he'd been a part of a baby cult for a while. It was not as serious as most cults so he could easily leave it.

Yeonjun could see normal looking people drinking and smoking. They were laughing loudly but talked in hushed tones, this somehow made the witch feel a little calm but the loud music and Soobin's strong grasp on his wrist made him suddenly tense. He starts seeing what he feared most- a _cutting ceremony_.

(That's what this particular cult called _cutting_ skin for fun. Inflicting pain was their bible and thus they called their main _ritual_ a _cutting ceremony._ )

A blonde-haired girl with crazed eyes and a wide smile lets some men cut her everywhere. She laughs, screaming for more. Her enjoyment discourages the cutters as they push her away. A tall woman brings a girl with a bob cut and a wet face. She's crying. The woman forces her to sit on the chair and she says something to the men which makes them joyfully start cutting her. Her eyes are shut and her crying voice haunts Yeonjun.

He looks away and sees a man get assaulted by three people. He wants to puke. He wants to leave. He wants to cry. He wants to calm down... he wants to cut.

Soobin turns to look at Yeonjun.

"isn't it fun here? This place is run by my perverted uncle who believes in making other people suffer for personal enjoyment"

Yeonjun is breathing heavily, tears are forming. He's scared.

"my uncle raised me you know"

The music is dying down.

"and you are my enjoyment"

Yeonjun is getting dragged. He can't move himself and run away, why isn't he? He wants to escape, but why _wasn't_ he!?

"first, let's get you to touch the ceiling" Soobin says as he reaches a table. A group sat there, they all stared at Yeonjun.

Soobin is saying something to the people, and they still stare at Yeonjun-who feels like he's drowning- he can't hear them; everything is blurring and the sounds are fading. He can feel himself take in a copious amount of air and goosebumps are forming on his skin.

He's moving back, trying to be discreet but Soobin is pulling him close and rolling up his netted sleeve.

Something sharp pokes him- it's an injection.

Yeonjun feels his anxiety get higher and higher. He feels more paranoid and he can't even open his eyes. Another injection. And another.

Soobin's voice is close.

"want me to kiss you?"

_No._

Yeonjun hugs Soobin, wanting to feel any sort of comfort. But Soobin's touch burns and his lips hurt. Why is he feeling pain?

Soobin pecks his lips and brushes away his bangs. Yeonjun whines, even the gentlest breeze made him feel cold.

"wow, it works really fast" Soobin says under his breath and Yeonjun realizes he's been drugged. Obviously.

"how're you feeling, Jun?"

"sick, I feel so sick and it fucking hurts when you touch me" Yeonjun blabbers yet he doesn't move away from Soobin's warm body.

"that's nice" Soobin says and drags him away once more. Yeonjun knows where, it's towards the cutting circle. Maybe it was the deadly poison in his bloodstream that made him want to feel excruciating pain, but maybe not since he thrashes in the seat trying to get away from the painful hands. A man's voice orders someone to get some ropes and Yeonjun feels people grab his arms and legs, tying them to the chair so that he couldn't move.

Yeonjun hated that he searched for Soobin.

His breathing is frantic and his eyes are everywhere. The faces of the strangers are pitch black and they have large glowing smiles. His throat dries from screaming.

_Where is Soobin?_

A hand falls on his shoulder and it creeps slowly to his neck and then to his chin. The possible assailant makes him look up at the yellow lightbulb. Soobin's face appears over, his shadow over Yeonjun.

"ready?"

"please... let me go" Yeonjun croaks, his voice was exhausted.

Soobin just grins.

"it'll feel good... eventually" and his face disappears. Yeonjun feels blades against his skin, it felt like they were waiting for a good time to strike altogether. He just stares at the yellow lightbulb overhead and tries to survive mentally.

* * *

Beomgyu stared at Taehyun, he was waiting for something.

"look, I'm not interested in Kai and you KNOW that... I'm fucking into girls how many times must I say that?"

They were both sat in a shady café of Beomgyu's choice. Of course.

"right... you're a _lesbian_ "

Taehyun tries to stay calm.

"Beomgyu, we've always crossed paths even though I prayed each year we wouldn't... only you and Yeonjun-hyung know who I used to be- can't you respect my past and forget about?"

The narcissist shakes his head.

"right, sorry... but I'm just sayin'... in case you try and take Kai away and preach to him of how _toxic_ and _evil_ or whatever I am- I have your valuable secret with me"

Taehyun doesn't care about other people's opinion. He doesn't care if people hated him- as long as the ones he loved stayed with him and supported him. The idea of him being trans had been hanging in the air and the rumors never really died. Everyone at school either ignored the rumor or gossiped about it if they had the chance- or they bullied him. But having a witch as a friend helped.

What Taehyun was really afraid of- was his father.

His father was living in Jeju with his elderly mother and he knew nothing about Taehyun's life. If he were to find out what Taehyun has become now he was definitely going to stop paying for his school and possibly disown him.

It was a far-fetched thought but not completely impossible. Taehyun didn't want to throw away his future. With great distaste and self-disappointment, he says,

"fine... I won't do anything"

* * *

When Yeonjun wakes up, his head is heavy and he finds it hard to open his eyes. He realizes he's lying down on wet grass. The moon is frowning on him as it hides behind a cloud. There are no stars.

He raises his arm to see various cuts that were not cared for. Mud outlined his scars as if trying to enter and Yeonjun doesn't even care to brush them away. Instead, he puts his arm back to the damp ground and tries to think.

He turns his head to see the porch of the cult house, bright lights appear from the opaque windows and he wonders where Soobin was.

Thinking of the silver haired demon made him want to rip his hair off, why was he thinking of him of all people? He's only cursing himself.

And he did. Soobin walks out with two plastic cups. Yeonjun already knows its alcohol.

Yeonjun can still feel poison swim inside his body.

Soobin approaches his lying body and hands over a cup. Yeonjun doesn't want to take it.

But as usual, he can never say no to Soobin. That's not how it worked.


	19. 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

It was hot and Yeonjun’s throat felt like it was on fire. He gulps down the vodka, not caring about the taste or the aftermath cause, he just wanted the thirst to go away.

“Soobin, can I have water?”

The people were still there, it seemed their activities never ceased- they just kept on doing their assaults in the disguise of rituals.

“mm, how about we just go home?” Soobin says ignoring Yeonjun’s innocent request.

“home?”

“yes… my house… I'm sure your mother won’t mind”

 _No she wouldn’t,_ Yeonjun thinks, knowing all his mother cared about was her ex-husband and her ugly art.

Soobin helps Yeonjun get up, the latter being a little tipsy.

“let me give you a piggyback ride” the silver haired says, squatting to give easier access for the shorter.

Yeonjun obliges, his arms go around Soobin’s neck and his thighs get propped in place by two familiar hands.

Soobin’s clean laundry smell and body heat makes the witch squeeze himself into the person he claimed to hate the most.

 _“I want to crawl inside you but I would hate it there”_ Yeonjun whispers.

Soobin laughs all the way to the door.

* * *

The taste of Yeonjun’s red chapstick and the fading bitterness of the vodka on his tongue made Soobin bite down hard on his palm. There was something about Yeonjun’s drunken display that gave Soobin a sympathetic feeling, he felt bad he was trying to take advantage of his helpless ‘crush’.

Soobin himself knew how stupid his reasoning was. He was the main cause of Yeonjun’s dislike for life and like for pain, but here he was- pitying Yeonjun.

“I'm sorry” he says.

The room was dark, Soobin didn’t want to face his shame.

Yeonjun rubs his face onto the fluffy pillow, ruining his makeup.

“it’s ok”

Soobin smiles.

“really?... I don’t think it’s ok”

“yeah, it isn't… but it’s still ok. I forgive you”

Soobin brushes Yeonjun’s hair, he pulls the strands lightly as if giving a superficial massage.

“usually drunk people say the truth… but is it the opposite with you?”

Yeonjun looks at the shadowy figure of Soobin’s, trying to think even though his mind was foggy.

“does it matter? You do whatever you want, no matter what I say- you have your way… I'm used to it now”

“…”

Yeonjun stretches his long legs, letting them rub against Soobin’s thighs. He yawns sleepily.

“Yeonjun, are you really drunk?”

The witch rolls his eyes but Soobin can’t see that.

“I don’t know”

Soobin lies down next to Yeonjun, his body turns to face the other.

“we’ve got school tomorrow… going out was probably a bad idea”

Yeonjun scoffs.

“obviously”

Soobin moves closer and Yeonjun turns, his back facing the other’s front. The silver haired is a little disappointed but he wraps an arm around Yeonjun’s waist.

“I think you should be grateful that I'm not doing anything”

Cold lips land on Yeonjun’s nape and he feels his cuts open.

* * *

Donghyuck bites his nails impatiently, he manages to

pull out a long strip of his nail as he continues calling Yeonjun’s mother.

He finally stands up, planning on going to his best friend’s home. But his brother stops him on the way.

“where are you going this late?” Taeyong asks, he’s shirtless and has a plastic knife in hand. He’s cooking dinner.

“I'm going to Yeonjun’s” Donghyuck says.

Taeyong watches his younger brother wrap himself in a fluffy poncho.

“I heard you got a boyfriend” he suddenly says out of the blue. No build-up, he just dives in head first.

Donghyuck doesn’t know where his _hyung_ got that information from, but he blushes and tries to hide it. He didn’t trust Taeyong’s intentions.

“yeah, he’s nice”

Taeyong clutches his knife a little harder.

“I see… bring him over sometime”

 _I will never,_ Donghyuck thinks as he runs out the door.

No one answers the door, Donghyuck expected that. He’s 99% sure that Yeonjun is with Soobin and he doesn’t know what to do. His only backdrop was Yukhei.

* * *

Somedays Kai felt lonely, most days he felt bored, and on rare days he felt happy. He had to fake his excitement on so many occasions and forced himself to smile so many times that even he himself can’t tell if he was being genuine or not.

But when he saw Yeonjun looking lifeless, he was really worried for him. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t as Beomgyu back hugs him.

“morning!” Beomgyu says, wrapping his legs around Kai’s waist.

“m- morning” Kai manages to say back. Being with Beomgyu made it easy to fake happiness.

They walk to class. Kai looks around in search for Taehyun.

“hey, do you know anything about Taehyun? He’s not responding to any of my texts”

“did you know he used to be a girl?”

Kai was easily distracted; he forgets his own query as he gasps.

“really!? I never knew!”

Beomgyu nods.

“wanna know the story?” he asks, a mischievous smile on his face.

Kai shakes his head up and down, his hair bouncing.

 _Curious cat,_ Beomgyu thinks and clears his throat to begin in a fairytale like flow,

“we used to go to kindergarten and middle school together, he was obsessed with being a boy, my parents paid for his hormone blockers” he says, a lightness in his voice.

“and Yeonjun-hyung’s unstable mom paid for Taehyun’s top surgery”

Kai doesn’t say anything, seeming to be overwhelmed by the information.

“my family and Yeonjun hyung’s family really loved Taehyun… but after his surgery my parents did a double suicide and Yeonjun’s mom got cheated on and divorced by her ex-husband”

They both reach class.

“Taehyun is bad luck… you should stay away from him”

Kai opens the sliding door.

“Beomgyu, that’s not funny”

“it’s not supposed to be… I hate him and you should too”

///

Taehyun was riding his newly bought skateboard to school. He munches on store bought raisin cookies and fixes his skinny glasses in place. It was a pleasant morning, he felt oddly happy but also a little terrified.

As Yeonjun would say, _the energy is all wrong._

Taehyun tries not to smile because his happiness was a curse. But he doesn’t listen to himself as his lips curve. Just then someone pushes him and he lands on the concrete.

His glasses fall off and when he looks up, he can see the school building.

_He was so close._

“this is Taehyun right?” a male voice asks.

“he’s riding a skateboard and has blond hair… so he must be” another male voice answers.

“yeah it’s _her_ ” a female voice says.

Taehyun looks at the villains. He recognizes them to be Beomgyu’s evil backup friends.

The girl is scowling at him as she blows her bubblegum.

“disgusting, I knew the rumors were true”

The two boys look at each other.

“does that mean he still has that _thing_ down there?” one boy says and the other shrugs.

The girl takes out her phone while looking around.

“we need to take _this thing_ to a more isolated place”

Taehyun stands up and books it, he knows what’s coming. But he was too slow as four hands pull him into abyss.

“no, no, no, no…” and he starts screaming for help but one of the boys elbows his stomach while the other punches his nose. Taehyun hears a crack and he isn't sure if it came from his nose or the boy’s knuckles.

A passerby sees them and Taehyun widens his eyes. But the stranger just turns.

Tears stream down the blonde’s face, no one was around, he was alone.

As he’s being forced away, he hears the girl’s high-pitched laugh and sees a figure waving at him from the entrance of the school.


	20. 𝔣𝔞𝔩𝔰𝔦𝔣𝔶

“have you ever hated someone so much you just want to impale them with a blunt knife?”

Huening Kai sighs.

“Donghyuck-hyung, I understand your dislike for Soobin-hyung but I think you need to calm down just a little”

The self-induced male doesn’t calm down, he just tears off the plastic of his store-bought sandwich with his teeth in a mockingly animalistic rage.

“no, I will not! Didn’t you see how I tried to call Yeonjun over? And then Soobin appears out of nowhere and flies down like a vulture to grab a dead mouse! –the dead mouse is Yeonjun by the way… And _MY_ BEST FRIEND just lets that fucker drag him away!?”

Kai pours the 1-liter bottle of grape juice into two Styrofoam cups; he makes sure to give Donghyuck the lesser filled one.

“yeah, that was weird… by what I've heard- they both are probably together again” he agrees and shares the information he heard from gossipers.

“together!? Again!?” Donghyuck looks surprised and confuzzled.

Kai realizes he just made a mistake, it seemed his companion didn’t have any knowledge of Yeonjun and Soobin’s messy past—but neither did Kai until Beomgyu told him _everything_ (Beomgyu had seemed chatty today, telling Kai everyone’s life story).

“uh, yeah… I heard they were in a weird relationship of being together but not _really_?”

Donghyuck suddenly stands up, his palms slamming on the dusty lunch table. The sky rumbles over them, threatening to rain and flood the earth.

Kai looks up.

“we should go in—”

“tell me everything”

“huh?”

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide and lifeless, he seems to think the worst.

“I said… tell me everything” he repeats.

Kai also stands up, unsure if the sky was just teasing and maybe it wouldn’t rain down on them. He picks up the lunch items and starts,

“Soobin used to be Yeonjun’s bully… I heard they did a lot of horrible things together”

“like?”

The younger one is in a dilemma. He could soften the blow by saying Soobin only beat Yeonjun up and derived superior pleasure from it- but it was more than that.

“Soobin liked to hurt Yeonjun in various ways like cutting him and pushing him off the rooftop… it seemed he got a weird sexual gratification from it” Kai still could've been softer.

Donghyuck is shivering from both anger and sadness.

“more… tell me more… I know there’s more” his voice is painfully desperate and Kai regrets his careless speech.

“um… well, I don’t know- like they had a falling out? But now they’re back to square one or something” Kai feels a single drop land on his head, it sends chills down his spine.

“why… why didn’t Yeonjun tell me?” Donghyuck looks completely betrayed and enraged.

More raindrops fall. It had started drizzling. Kai tries to protect the food.

“hyung, please let’s just go in” he says desperately.

“you can go in… I want to be alone”

* * *

Taehyun’s broken body lay on the grass, his skin had blue and purple splotches all over. He had been sleeping like a dead body for a while, giving up on life and thinking he deserved to die until the rain woke him up.

He finally tries to stand up but his legs felt as if they were on fire. He just needed to reach somewhere he could get help. The three fools had taken him somewhere far as Taehyun couldn’t recognize his surroundings.

He takes small steps, finding the muddy ground slippery.

“where am I?”

He had been abused badly, the two boys had hit him everywhere they could and the girl just enjoyed the scene. She kept on talking about how he was better off dead; Taehyun vaguely remembered someone else telling him that.

(It wasn’t a secret on who sent the trio to jump Taehyun—it was Beomgyu of course! Who else? But Taehyun felt no hatred build inside of him even after knowing who is perpetrator is.)

After he lost consciousness, they took him to a far away secluded place and just dumped his body in the open ground. He wonders if they wanted to leave him for dead or maybe they thought putting him away from their view would make him disappear. Nonetheless, Taehyun was lost. But eventually after a short walk he finds a police station, he is extremely lucky.

A rookie sees him and looks terrified to see a bleeding human, he rushes in and brings out an older looking officer.

Taehyun is brought in and a woman with short hair and rectangular glasses helps him sit down, performing first aid as soon as she could.

“the ambulance has been called… would you like to lie down?” she asks in a soft tone.

“th-there’s no need… I can sit well enough” Taehyun responds.

The officer who had helped him right away- approaches him, a warm familiar smile on his face.

“hello, I am DI Wong… will you be able to give your statement right now?”

 _That name sounds familiar,_ Taehyun thinks, but he doesn’t recall anyone with the name and simply nods.

“I was mugged-”

* * *

Yeonjun stares at the rain droplets hitting the glass and then at the small piece of paper on the ground.

He was in the council room, sitting cross-legged on the floor and dressed in Soobin’s clothes— who was busy typing away on his laptop.

Yeonjun felt nice in them, but this wasn’t the first time he wore Soobin’s clothes. The witch simply stares at his oppressor for a while until he felt content. He then draws a circle on the piece of paper with a pencil and writes down words around it like— _‘yes’ ‘no’ ‘never’ ‘maybe’._

He floats a pendulum over the middle of the paper. The pendulum was given to Soobin by Yeonjun a long while ago when they first met. The silver haired had kept it with him ever since and the witch wondered for what sick reason Soobin might've held on to it.

Yeonjun didn’t want to think too hard into it and starts asking simple questions like— _‘is my name Yeonjun?’_ and _‘am I happy?’_ to test the pendulum. When he’s sure the item had the ability he hoped for, he asks the question he’d wanted the answer to for a while.

“will I have a happy ending?”

Soobin’s hands cease to move as he looks at Yeonjun.

The pendulum moves, bouncing back and forth between _‘yes’_ and _’no’._

Yeonjun prays it lands on _‘yes’,_ but it ends up landing on _‘maybe’._

The witch is disappointed.

“that doesn’t help at all” he whispers.

Soobin chuckles.

“no matter what your condition is and no matter where you are, it solely depends on you to create a happy ending”

Yeonjun looks at the other with unsatisfied eyes.

“what do you mean?”

Soobin just smirks.

“you could pretend to enjoy pain; you could fake your _love_ for me… in the end you’d have lied to yourself so much that it becomes true. Then you will achieve your _happy ending._ Simple, isn't it?”

Yeonjun considers it.


	21. 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔩

Donghyuck always believed he was useless. It was not something he developed himself, but something his brother instilled in him. Every time he’d make a _wise_ or _sensible_ decision—Taeyong was always there to tell him he was wrong. It happened so often that Donghyuck lost all confidence in himself. He wasn’t even sure of what to wear.

 _‘always wear something cute’_ is what Taeyong told him and now Donghyuck couldn’t choose a different style, feeling a contrasting look would be _wrong_ and _unsuitable_ for him _._

And that’s why he didn’t try to talk to Yeonjun and try to help him. He was petrified to make things worse for his best friend even though his intentions weren't wrong. He felt his help would just destroy everything.

Donghyuck ignores the several calls from Yukhei and just stares at the blank screen of his computer.

_I want to save him._

* * *

The rain wasn’t stopping. Yeonjun didn’t carry an umbrella even though he had predicted that it would pour heavily today. He stands quietly under the canopy of the school entrance and simply adjusts his silk choker and then tucks his long hair behind his ear. His wore purple rain boots today.

He turns when he hears footsteps.

Soobin smiles at him and opens an umbrella for the both of them.

“thanks for waiting” he says calmly and reaches out his hand. Yeonjun nuzzles his arm instead.

“I'm sleepy today”

Soobin hums.

“we can sleep today”

They walk out together, their besmirched bodies close and their minds faking peace.

Huening Kai watches them, his arms full of paperwork. He has an urge to do something but he doesn’t know what, he knows he can’t approach them as he wasn’t close to either of the two. Kai just sighs, feeling powerless about the situation he thought he knew everything about.

“my mother is meeting a man” Yeonjun says as Soobin applies a cooling cream around his neck.

“oh, she’s over your father?”

“no, that strange man is a hitman or something”

“how did she find him?” Soobin’s eyes widen in disbelief but his fingers continue massaging Yeonjun’s bruised neck soothingly.

“I don’t know… but he left his gun on our kitchen table”

Soobin’s face is closer as he tries to focus on the other’s dead eyes.

“did you try to do something with it?”

“no… well, yes… I wanted to shoot myself but my mom beat me to it and she keeps it with her now… I think she’s going to kill herself when my dad gets murdered by the ‘hitman’”

Soobin moves back to laugh.

Yeonjun hugs his knees and looks at the mirror behind Soobin. His expression is lifeless and the bottom of his eyes are red due to him rubbing them constantly.

“hey, wanna have _sex_ ”

“huh?”

Soobin crosses his legs with a grin on his face.

“you’ll like it this time”

Yeonjun doesn’t believe those words, he just looks away and focuses at the door handle.

Soobin’s torso was between the other’s thighs, his hands resting on the blushing knees.

“I realized something… you're the only one I have, Yeonjun” the silver haired devil in human disguise has a dark expression on his face as he says this.

“I can tell” is the other’s reply.

Yeonjun’s head hits the table and his eyes widen when Soobin’s somber look changes to a delighted one. He grabs the witch’s neck and pulls him forward only to push him back in brute force. Yeonjun’s head collides with the edge of the table and his breaths shorten.

“bite your tongue so hard that it bleeds”

The grip on his neck tightens in expectancy.

“do it, my _love…_ I think you should learn how to control your tongue, I've had enough of how easily you mock me… c’mon, do it”

Tears threaten to fall as Yeonjun sinks his teeth into his tongue, the heat of pain wrapping around him. Soobin watches him with a twisted proud face.

Biting the tasteful organ was much, much of a toil than Yeonjun expected and when he detected an unstopping flow of blood, he panics. He wants to say something but the blood creates a thick barricade for him.

“wow, I didn’t actually think you’d do it” Soobin says in a faux surprised tone.

 _You're so full of bullshit and I hate you so much,_ Yeonjun wants to say but he cannot so he covers his mouth and gets up to walk to the bathroom so that he could spit out the crimson liquid. But of course, Soobin had a different idea. He grabs Yeonjun’s ankle, hoping it would make him fall— and it did.

The already injured hits his chin, causing him to bite on his tongue once more, it was as if life just gave up on him. He lets out a pained scream as the blood spills from his mouth onto the floor. The thick liquid swims into the straight crevices of the tiles and Yeonjun is lying on the ground, sobbing and choking on his blood, he can still feel his tongue bleed.

Soobin is also choking—on his own laughter.

“oh, god… oh god, oh god, oh god… that was funny!” and Soobin continues with his demonic happiness.

Yeonjun spits out blood while trying to sit up.

“j- jus… lemme go”

Soobin nods.

“go ahead, patch yourself up and return, ok? I’ll be waiting”

Yeonjun stands up, red dripping down his chin and into his yellow top.

“mm”

* * *

“Yukhei, please help me”

Donghyuck stood in the doorway, drenched in rainwater from head to toe, his nose is a scarlet shade and his eyes are bloodshot.

“H- Hyuck?! What the fuck- get in! I’ll go grab a towel-”

Yukhei brings his lover in and rushes to find the fluffy cloth.

A minute later and Donghyuck is brought into a steamy bathroom, covered in an extremely soft towel. He sniffles from both his sadness and the cold.

Yukhei touches the hot water and nods.

“okay, you can get in… I’ll bring you some clothes-”

“shut up”

“huh?”

“Yukhei, please listen to me! I know you're trying to take care of me but now’s not the time, I need you to do something about… about Soobin…”

“what do you mean?”

Donghyuck drops the towel and undresses himself from his wet clothes.

“I want you to kill him… I’ll repay you however you want”

* * *

Soobin was on his laptop again. Yeonjun could see him type the English alphabets in an unstoppable speed.

The bleeding had stopped after a long while of standing next to the sink and letting the blood exude in plentiful drops. The sound of it hitting the steel resounded throughout the kitchen and Yeonjun had plainly stared at the abstract painting it formed.

_Something… something… I need to do something._

He clutches the metal rod hard, so hard that his knuckles go white and his palm is threatened to be cut.

_Sorry… no, I'm not sorry._

He holds up the rod with both his hands. Soobin turns his chair.


	22. 𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔢

Soobin’s pendulous body falls to the floor.

The end of the rod had a hint of blood painted on it.

Yeonjun was sobbing.

“wh-what have I done!?” he lets go of the pole, letting it plummet to the ground. He grabs his hair, pulling the strands in vexation and agitation.

“what have I- no… what should I _do_?” he crouches down to turn Soobin over and reaches to touch the wound. He presses the bloody injury.

He has a sudden realization.

 _I can end him here… I can kill him right now… if he dies then my life will become normal,_ Yeonjun lets the voices in his head lose. He lets himself think of all the murderous tendencies he had towards Soobin. But instead of acting over it, he just sits on the ground, making Soobin’s bleeding head lie on his lap (staining his white knee-high socks).

“you seem so harmless like this” Yeonjun says in a muted tone. He stares at his red stained palm.

“I want you to die… so, so much… but if you die, I might kill myself…”

He finally accepted the _truth_ of himself and he just sat there, weeping over his piteous existence.

* * *

Yukhei walks into the kitchen and screams immediately.

“shut up, Yukhei” his father simply says as he eats a spoonful of cornflakes.

“oh, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be home… I would've made dinner”

Mr. Wong ignores his son and resumes his action of chewing.

“do you want some milk with that?” Yukhei offers as he opens the fridge door.

“no… no, I just want to be alone” Mr. Wong says, rubbing his temple with his thumb and forefinger.

“o-ok” Yukhei prepares to leave but then notices his father’s gun lying on the counter. It was quiet far from the older man and it registers in Yukhei’s mind how easy it would be to smuggle it without his father knowing.

_‘kill Soobin for me’_

Donghyuck’s words had been repeating in his head like a broken record for a few days now. He hadn't been sure if his boyfriend was joking or dead serious.

But Yukhei was slowly comprehending things himself—he noticed how Soobin and Yeonjun were together all the time. If he saw one of them, the other would be tagging along. He also noticed the ribbon around Yeonjun’s neck—which he thought was an accessory at first—but when he had bumped into him, he saw the ribbon slip and a purple bruise reveal itself.

 _This is too real… I'm too unimportant to make things better,_ Yukhei believes. He forms his hands into fists in an attempt to calm himself.

“d-dad?”

“what is it?”

“I have something to tell you”

* * *

Taehyun sat on the hospital bed, he couldn’t sleep. When the doctor asked for his parents, he had immediately said he had a guardian. But even though the police and doctor didn’t ask any further about his parents or his victimizers—he felt anxious.

What if they somehow gain his father’s number and tell him everything? Especially that he’s a _he._

Taehyun rubs his eyes.

 _No… my dad won’t know because he doesn’t give a fuck about me. He won’t find out, it’s okay,_ he comforts himself, lying down painfully on the bed and taking large breaths.

“just breathe, Tae” he tells himself.

When he wakes in the morning, he sees a familiar face.

“Inspector Wong” he regards sleepily.

“this is too early for me”

“I apologize for the disturbance, but this was an emergency in a way” the officer says calmly.

Taehyun sits up.

“is it just you?”

Mr. Wong nods.

“I see… so, what is it?” Taehyun was suspicious. He thought the police couldn’t interrogate a hospitalized victim without a doctor? Or was that just his personal outlook? Also, he hadn't even had his breakfast yet. Taehyun was expecting something tremendously emergent.

“I hear from my son that you go to the same school as him- Wong Yukhei?” the officer takes the name of his son.

 _Oh, that’s why the last name sounded so familiar,_ Taehyun realizes and nods.

“now listen, Kang Taehyun-ssi” Mr. Wong sits down on a chair next to the bed, forcing out a small notepad out of his tight vest pocket.

“I need you to answer all my questions truthfully”

Taehyun expects the worst.

“do you know a-” Mr. Wong looks briefly into his notepad, “Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin?”

The teenager holds his breath.

 _It’s not about my father,_ he nods his head.

“do you have any… idea on what’s going on between the two?”

Taehyun had two options—one, he lies and talk to Yeonjun personally or two, he spills everything he knows- which wasn’t much.

“um…”

Inspector Wong raises his eyebrows in expectance.

“I don’t really know much… but I've heard rumors about them being in an abusive relationship or something but it ended now?” Taehyun sounds unsure, as expected. He looks at the DI’s unimpressed face.

The room is silent for a few seconds, making Taehyun uneasy.

“but it could just be a baseless claim” he adds to fill in the silence.

“anything else?”

Taehyun tries to think. What _else_ has been happening?

“Soobin was pursuing Yeonjun for a while… it seemed creepy, honestly”

“I see” Mr. Wong scratches something down on the paper.

The patient ponders some more.

“uh, is something going on?”

The officer looks at him, his face finally giving away an expression— _guilt._

“nothing… nothing’s going on” he stands up.

“thank you very much for your cooperation. I will keep in touch in case your assistance might be needed”

Taehyun’s consent didn’t matter it seemed. This was an ‘order’.

“sure”

* * *

Yeonjun wasn’t good at first aid, but he tried his best to wrap the bandage around Soobin’s trauma. Yeonjun helps his body lie down on the bed.

_Why hasn’t he woken up yet?_

Yeonjun looks outside the high window, the sky was dark. It was nighttime already.

 _I should take a bath… to refresh myself,_ Yeonjun decides as he walks to the closet, grabbing Soobin’s clothes and then walking to the bathroom on the ground floor.

“oh hey!” Beomgyu greets from the kitchen.

Yeonjun doesn’t move or say anything.

“I'm leaving… I'm going to stay over at Kai’s, just tell Soobin”

“how long have you been here?”

Beomgyu doesn’t question Yeonjun’s messed up makeup or the dried blood on the floor.

“not long enough” he simply says and grabs his bag that sat on a wooden stool.

“I just came to grab a few things” and he turns his back to leave.

Yeonjun also proceeds to reach the bathroom. Once he’s there he hurriedly tears off his damp clothes and runs a cold bath.

“ _happiness_ … I don’t have my materials for…” Yeonjun says in a dejected tone when he realizes that he can’t take his ‘ritualistic’ bath.

He plops on the cold tiled floor as the water overflows the tub.


	23. 𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

Yeonjun found peace and comfort in magic. If you asked if he believed in it, he’d say _‘I don’t know’._ Even though he called himself a witch it wasn’t because of the stars aligning—but it was for his own selfish wants. Being a witch was to distract him from the harsh reality and lose himself to spirituality and spells.

When he was a part of a weak cult, he learned to be dependent on things that seemed so unreal. The cult had been too focused on the satanic bible and blood-drinking that Yeonjun left it and decided- being alone and focusing on unreligious things were better. He didn’t believe in Satan or God—but he did believe in _no life_ after death, maybe that’s why he’s suicidal.

Opening the door to Soobin’s room made him nervous and expectant. Would Soobin be sitting up, full of rage? Or would he be tossing over in deep sleep?

But none of that happened, Soobin was laying unmoving on the bed.

Yeonjun decides to change the bandage of the asleep male. He hums an unknown song to keep him company.

“please be awake by morning”

* * *

Mr. Wong was in plain clothes and hiding in his car, waiting for students to disperse the school.

He spots a young girl walking out the school gates by herself- he jumps out his vehicle and steps speedily to her.

The girl looks a little terrified and Mr. Wong flashes his badge.

He introduces himself and asks her if he could run a few questions with her. She obliges.

He does this with a few more students until the watchman notices his suspicious activity.

* * *

Donghyuck grabs Beomgyu’s arm.

“hey, can we talk?”

“no” Beomgyu pulls his arm away and walks faster, but Donghyuck was persistent.

“I hear you're related to Soobin… is that true?”

“I'm not related to that scum”

Donghyuck doesn’t care.

“well, Yeonjun and Soobin didn’t come to school today, I was wondering if you knew where they are”

Beomgyu slows down just a little so that he could face Donghyuck properly.

“I don’t know… maybe underwater”

* * *

“Taehyun!” Huening Kai is almost crying as he sits down on the chair next to the bed.

“what the hell, Kai, don’t cry… I'm not dying” Taehyun rolls his eyes, but he appreciates the roses given to him by his dear friend.

Kai shakes his head.

“who was it?!”

“some random thug—”

“don’t lie!”

Taehyun shuts up.

“it was… Beomgyu wasn’t it?”

The injured doesn’t say anything. He didn’t want to lie to Kai once more but he knew how much his friend liked Beomgyu.

Kai simply slips off the sticker from his jacket. It said _‘happiness’_ and had been stuck there for a week.

“Tae, tell me”

“it wasn’t exactly Beomgyu… he sent his _friends_ ”

Kai thinks, he really needs to get over his infatuation.

* * *

Memory loss, puking and his inability to walk straight—this was happening to Soobin all because of Yeonjun’s merciless hit.

“how’d this happen to me?” Soobin asks as his hands rub the bandage.

“you fell… down the-the stairs. I thought of taking you to the hospital but- I assumed you’d be ok” Yeonjun’s voice had an insecure tremor.

Soobin takes time to think.

“well, I should go to the hospital… now… in case something bad is happening to me and I don’t know yet”

Yeonjun nods.

“r-right! I was being stupid… I should've done that in the first place!” he begins to giggle nervously.

Soobin stands up from the bathroom floor and approaches Yeonjun- who stood next to the doorframe. The taller of the two grabs the other’s shoulders.

“I'm glad you were here to take care of me”

Yeonjun fakes a smile.

“y-yeah…”

The doctor checks the wound and prescribes a few medicines to ease the headache amongst other things.

“how did this happen?” the doctor asks.

“oh, I fell down the stairs… I'm very clumsy” Soobin answers politely.

Dr. Han shakes their head.

“no, it can’t be from that. I think you were hit on the head with a heavy object”

Soobin’s neutral expression darkens and his pupils constrict.

“oh”

On his way out he bumps into a fairly tall policeman.

“I apologize!” the officer says immediately but Soobin floats past him in a dead-like manner.

Mr. Wong watches the boy with a concerning look and then walks to Taehyun’s hospital room.

Huening Kai was still there, getting ready to leave. He bows respectfully before departing.

“good evening, how are you?” Mr. Wong immediately says.

“I'm doing alright, officer… are you back to ask more?”

“more or less… I actually have a confession to make”

Taehyun looks intrigued.

“this… _investigation_ I am doing is purely based on nothing… and even though I have questioned you and a few more students from your school and gathered information on Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun’s relationship… There isn't any large claim that I or any other who works under the law- could act upon”

The boy sits back on the pillow.

_A large claim, huh?_

Mr. Wong has an awkward yet professional look on his face.

“I just wanted to apologize for wasting your time during such a time… and-” the officer contemplates.

“please keep this to yourself” but as he turns to vacate the room, Taehyun abruptly says,

“a cult!”

“pardon-”

“Soobin’s uncle! He started a cult-”

Mr. Wong stands unmoving.

“and Soobin had a cousin who went missing and-”

The officer raises a hand.

“I will look into it… thank you”

Taehyun doesn’t believe the policeman.

* * *

When Soobin walked into his house, he sees Yeonjun in the kitchen. The witch was sitting on a high chair while sipping a warm drink from a large cup. He looked traumatized, but greets Soobin with a plastic grin.

“how was it?”

“I'm fine… the doctor gave me a few pills to help with my headache and stuff” Soobin places the medicines on the dining table.

A calm silence.

“I… I need to go home”

The silver-haired sits across Yeonjun.

“you’ll be back, right?”

Yeonjun’s fingers loosen and the tea spills a little. He wakes up and handles the cup. Clearing his throat and beaming sarcastically, he says,

“of course… I just need to grab a few things, like- like clothes and… crystals and my toothbrush and I need to-to te-ll my m-mom” his vision is blurring but Yeonjun stands up fast making his head spin.

“I need to go… in a few minutes… I should be…back” he steps aside to leave but Soobin stands up, grabbing his hand.

“twenty minutes”

* * *

Yeonjun is running. His breathing fast-paced and his heart is beating out of his chest.

 _I'm out, I'm out!,_ he thinks as he races past the trees and jumps over puddles. Soon enough, he reaches his home.

Yeonjun bursts in.

“MOM!”

He’s panicked.

“MOM!”

He opens the door to her room.

“mom…”

In the present, Yeonjun wishes his mother was stable, he wishes she never obsessed over her lost love, he wishes she didn’t kill herself.

Ms. Choi hung from the ceiling fan, her skin pale and her expression peacefully unsatisfied.

Yeonjun doesn’t move for a while. Then he advances to grab a few things from her closet. Before he leaves the room, he approaches his mother’s limp body and grabs her skirt.

He remembers grabbing her skirt as a little child, asking for her attention but never getting it.

“I hope you're happy now” and he abandons her to go to his own room.


	24. 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔭𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔶

Time reversed for Yeonjun. A few months ago, he was living a simple life (debatable) and was doing a good job of avoiding Soobin—but a simple card-reading messed everything up for him.

“they took away my club” Soobin says somberly.

Yeonjun nods while biting into his toast. He gives it a minimum number of chews before saying casually,

“my mom hanged herself”

Soobin looks aghast.

“when did you find out?”

_Yeonjun’s been inside… unless he went out without telling me—_

“last week when I went home to get my things”

The silver-haired calms a little.

“I see… well, how do you feel? Dismayed?” he didn’t care, but the words came out on their own.

Yeonjun burns his tongue when he takes a sip of the splenetic coffee.

“I don’t know… I'm sad but… I don’t really miss her—anyway, your club… got taken away?” he makes an effort to turn the conversation into another lane.

Soobin sighs.

“the principal took me aside and said that my club was getting a little ‘ _cult-y’_ ”

“really? That’s a surprise” sarcasm.

The witch blows his drink.

“oh, your _friend_ was looking for you all week”

…

“and Beomgyu’s crush was asking about you”

…

“even that eccentric jock talked to me asking where you were”

…

“are you going to answer me!?” Soobin slams the table, disarranging the materials set on it.

Yeonjun flinches, but his expression doesn’t change.

“I don’t know what to say… just tell them I'm _fine,_ I guess”

Soobin settles down.

“ok”

They continue their breakfast.

“is Beomgyu not coming back?”

“he’s not”

“why?”

Soobin runs his fingers through his hair.

“he’s been having nightmares, so he wants to stay away… I suppose he is staying at _Huening Kai’s._ I don’t know how that’s working but…” he trails off.

Yeonjun wants to ask what the _nightmares_ are about. But he doesn’t.

* * *

The house looked like it came right out of a horror movie and D.I Wong looks at his team of young officers. They were mostly new and followed orders from everyone.

“now look, there is a suspicion of cult activities happening in this very house- we are going to slam down the door and instantly—”

“excuse me!” a girl raises her hand.

“I think this is-”

“be silent, Kim! You listen to me and do what I say” Mr. Wong felt horrible for being the way he was, but the desperation and thirst for solving mysteries was too great.

“Qian, you knock on the door”

In a span of a few seconds, the four policemen (and woman) had their guns out- ready to shoot- and many people were forced onto the ground, they cowered in fear.

“where’s your leader!?” Mr. Wong asks a random man, his gun pointing straight at his head.

“I- I will never betray our great-”

Mr. Wong fires. The bullet grazes the man’s ear and hits the floor. The man screams.

“speak!”

The new officers look at their _boss_ in silence.

“he- he lives in _Sajik-ro-3-gil 23_!” the man shouts out, his eyes closed in silent prayer.

D.I Wong is satisfied; he looks around the room. He sees blood, naked people crying and knives.

“our work here is done”

* * *

Donghyuck stands outside Yeonjun’s home. He’s been coming every day, knocking and banging on the door but never getting an answer. It’s been a week and he’s decided he’s going to enter this time.

First, he knocks and waits. When he receives no answer, he starts banging. This was like a ritual now.

Donghyuck turns the knob of the door and it rotates. He’s not surprised since Yeonjun and his mother didn’t believe in safety.

“I'm coming in” he says to no one.

Once he stepped into the house— he’s hit with a strong pungent smell.

Donghyuck is nauseated by the scent, he almost veers back.

_No, I need to see Yeonjun._

With that thought in head, he trudges ahead.

Even though he didn’t want to, he follows the smell—knowing it came from something _grim._

The door to Yeonjun’s room was closed while the door to Ms. Choi’s room was slightly ajar.

Donghyuck’s heart beats out of fear of what he was about to discover. His hand trembles as he moves the door farther.

Taeyong consoles his brother, holding him close.

Donghyuck had already given his testimony to the police about discovering the body of Ms. Choi and now he was in his room—traumatized.

“I told you to avoid hanging around Yeonjun now look-”

“stop it, hyung! now’s not the time to lecture me about my choice of friends!”

Taeyong froze, astonished that his brother dared to even raise his voice. His expression hardens and Donghyuck catches on.

“s-sorry, hyung”

The older shakes his head.

“I don’t think you are… but since I _love_ you, I’ll go easy on you this time”

Donghyuck’s lower lip quivers. He regretted the last few seconds.

“let’s go to _my_ room” says Taeyong, displaying an unnatural smile.

* * *

Youngjae was unsure if he would be welcomed to his ex-wife’s funeral. But thankfully the only people attending the funeral would be her parents and Yeonjun. No big scene would occur.

When he stands outside the mortuary, feeling nervous beads of sweat form on his closed palms—he thinks of Yeonjun.

Youngjae did not dislike his son, but he did not love him either—most probably because he had left once Yeonjun was born. He was expecting hateful eyes once they meet.

But when Youngjae walks inside the room, he only sees a familiar elderly couple.

“oh!” the woman expresses her surprise.

“hello—”

“what are you doing here!? How dare you even think it was ok to come here?” the man next to her says in anger.

Youngjae bows his head in shame.

“Mr. and Mrs. Lim, I had loved your daughter dearly… but I wasn’t ready to be a father- so in my cowardness I left… nothing I say can make my excuse plausible, but I really respect her and I know she deserves a proper apology”

Mrs. Lim looks unimpressed.

“I would say she doesn’t deserve such a _fake_ apology from a scumbag like yourself… but she would've wanted _this_ ”

Mr. Lim on the other hand, stares at his wife in disbelief.

“honey, why would you SAY that?”

The woman stares at the face of her pale daughter, reaching out to touch her but stopping immediately.

“my poor daughter, _Aecha_ … she had a horrible obsession”


End file.
